Series 1 Episode 12: The Edge of Destruction

Serial: The Edge of Destruction/Inside the Spaceship
Episode: 1 (The Edge of Destruction)
Doctor: William Hartnell
Companions: Barbara, Ian, and Susan

Writer: David Whitaker
Director: Richard Martin
Producer: Verity Lambert
Original air date: 08/02/1964

VICTORIAN GOTHIC GENDER BINARIES...IN SPAAAAAAAAACE!

In which everyone is tripping balls, the Tardis is malfunctioning, the Doctor goes to some pretty dark places, Susan plays with scissors, and Barbara gives the Doctor a tongue-lashing he’ll never forget. Welcome to…THE EDGE OF DESTRUCTION! (The second episode of which is called ‘The Brink of Disaster’. I'm assuming that, had they had a third episode, it would've been called ‘The Cusp of Catastrophe’ or ‘The Precipice of Perdition’ or something.)

The episode begins as the previous episode ends: not with a whimper but with a bang. The Doctor, Ian, and Susan are flung backwards from the console. The Doctor lands on the floor; Susan lands back on the console; Ian, rather cushily, lands in a chair.

Jammy sod.

Enter Barbara, looking hungover as hell, still in her Thal trousers but with more sensible shoes and wearing her Special Thal Keepsake Dressmaking Fabric as some manner of pashmina. She staggers past the unconscious Doctor over to Ian, apparently trying to remember who he is as though she’s living the aftermath of an ill-advised one-night stand: ‘Mister…Chesterton? Ian Chesterton?’ How much did you have to drink last night, Babs?

And now Susan’s on her feet, looking distinctly zombie-like. She thinks she knows Barbara, but is distracted almost immediately by the mother of all headaches and a pain in her neck. Barbara offers to have a look, presumably so that she can check whether Susan has any other symptoms of meningitis, but then Susan spots the Doctor lying on the floor and feels the urge to screech ‘GRANDFATHER’ at the top of her lungs. Some people have headaches, Susan.

It appears the Doctor has cut his head open; Babs sends Susan for water and ointment, but Susan is temporarily distracted by not knowing who Ian is. The delivery is all (deliberately) stilted, with lots of awkward pauses in the dialogue, which is unsettling, but also slows everything down a lot. At any rate, it’s nice to have Susan asking Barbara what’s going on for a change, though in the great tradition of anyone who is ever asked this question on Doctor Who, Babs hasn’t got a clue.

And now Ian’s standing up, apparently under the impression that he’s at Coal Hill School, because he calls Barbara ‘Miss Wright’ and observes that she’s ‘working late tonight’.

Some enchanted evening, you may see a stranger [. . .] across a crowded room.

It’s all rather trippy, and a recurring motif seems to be characters standing around saying ‘shouldn't we help him’ of one another but without appearing to commit to doing anything useful, like passers-by in the street witnessing a mugging or something. At any rate, it’s rather lovely that the Bezzie Mates from Earth recognise one another first.

Babs and her lashmina

Meanwhile, Susan's found a stripy bandage which she’s cutting up with some lethal-looking scissors. In the console room, Ian has taken over the first-aiding, observing of the Doctor that ‘his heart seems all right’. Given that we now know the Doctor has two hearts, it’s clear that Ian is either rubbish at first-aid or the Doctor was really not OK. And yes I know this wasn't actually a thing yet, but allow me my fun.

The Doctor is waking up, and we have the first instance of ‘WHAT is the Doctor mumbling about in his sleep that sounds REALLY interesting I would like backstory on THAT’ on the show, when he mutters ‘I can’t take you back, Susan, I can't’. WHAT’S THAT ALL ABOUT? Did he actually abduct her from Gallifrey like he abducted Barbara and Ian from Earth? Or is there another reason he can't take her back to Gallifrey beyond his inability to pilot the Tardis? Or is he just talking about 1960s Earth? Or another place Susan felt at home? I DEMAND ANSWERS.

First aid fail.

Ian is still pretty spaced-out and observes that the Doctor is ‘rambling’. Babs, however, seems to be getting the same ‘this reminds me of that time in a junkyard when the Doctor abducted a couple of schoolteachers’ vibe from the Doctor because it appears to have jogged her memory; she realises she’s in the Tardis and tries to get Ian in on the epiphany. Ian is still confuz.

Meanwhile, the water machine is playing up, which is probably significant. Susan steps through the doors into the console room and – GASP! – it’s a hatstand? Oh no wait I'm looking at the wrong thing. IT’S THE DOORS! They’re wide open, which is Very Bad, because they can’t open on their own. Barbara, reasonably, suggests they may have been forced open when the ship crashed; Susan says the ship can’t crash because that would be impossible. Which brings me to one of the reasons I love the experimental shoestring-budget mess that is this serial: early Tardis-dwellers have NO CLUE as to the Tardis’s capabilities and it’s a testament to the character development on the show that even the Tardis gets a 50-year-long character arc.

Susan is in hysterics and thinks there must be something inside the ship, which makes this Babs’s turn to say that’s impossible. In fact Babs has had enough of this nonsense and has taken over with the space bandages. And now the Tardis starts playing silly beggars: when Ian walks towards the doors, they close of their own accord; when he backs away, they open again. Susan tries the controls, has a scranny, and faints. I think Ian speaks for all of us when he yells ‘WHAT’S GOING ON HERE?’.

Ian being trolled by the Tardis

Babs tells Ian to take ‘the girl’ and put her to bed, which is a weird way to talk about Susan, but on the upside we get to see Ian’s excellent Fireman’s Lift technique, with bonus points for no Sixties Hemline Manfunctions.

The Doctor is waking up, complaining about feeling as though he’s been hit in the back of the neck. Babs is putting two and two together.

Meanwhile, Ian has put Susan to bed on some manner of ergonomic sunlounger, which I'm going to assume is one of the Space Beds aboard the Tardis. He arranges her hands, which is creepy. There’s more business with the water machine, during which Ian eventually manages to wet a handkerchief for brow-mopping purposes, and then OH CHRIST SUSAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE APPALLINGLY DEADLY-LOOKING SCISSORS?

Be safe, kids.

Fuckaduck, she has no idea who the strange man in her bedroom is and now she’s going batshit and stabbing the ergonomic sunlounger with the scissors like something out of The Exorcist. And Ian is…watching? And just to complete the whole Meshes of the Afternoon knife vibe, there’s a close-up of the scissors to end the scene. I'm pretty sure these guys got in trouble for depicting stabby stabby household objects on a tv show for kids.

Meanwhile, the Doctor is bullshitting, hard, and Babs is having precisely none of it:

DOCTOR: No, no, the ship must have stopped and put us down somewhere.
BARBARA: But where? Where are we?
DOCTOR: Oh, all these questions Miss Wright! Please!
BARBARA: You don't know do you? You're just guessing aren't you?

DOCTOR YOU'VE BEEN RUMBLED.

Ian, however, seems to be more willing to indulge the Doctor's cryptic nonsense, or at least to be engaged in conversation.

However, he continues to speak for all of us when his response to the above is to say that '[e]verything's in a mess'. The Doctor accuses the two humans of having meddled with the controls; in a moment of true Babsian glory, when the Doctor points an accusing finger at our favourite history teacher, she does not even dignify him with a response. She has, however, been thinking:

BARBARA: Do you think something could have got into the ship?
DOCTOR: (Scoffing.) No, no, no.
BARBARA: Well the doors were open.
DOCTOR: No, it's ridiculous.
IAN: (Laughing.) What, you mean? An animal or a man or something?
BARBARA: Yes!
DOCTOR: It's…it’s not very logical now, is it? Hmm?
BARBARA: Or another intelligence.
DOCTOR: Well as I said, it's not very logical.
BARBARA: No it isn't, but does it have to be? I mean, things aren't always very logical are they? It's just that one's been through so much, I've...
DOCTOR: I've been very patient with you Miss…Wright, and really, there's no more time for these absurd theories.
IAN: Probably a mechanical fault.
DOCTOR: Yes, or electric.

UGH. I'm very much not enjoying the gender divide between 'logical' and 'illogical' thinking. The Doctor and Ian are both portrayed as 'rational' beings who assume that there must be an underlying scientific solution to their predicament, whereas Babs is thinking actually quite like a Doctor Who scriptwriter from the 2010s. Victorian-style gender stereotyping aside, however, I do love this exchange insofar as it's another example of Barbara's character development: it seems that her experiences so far have caused her to think...well, not so much outside the box as inside it, if by box you mean Tardis. Her world view has now expanded to other worlds; the bounds of possibility are suddenly a lot more flexible than she had previously imagined. I also think a lot of the time Barbara's supposedly 'irrational' approach to problem-solving is less obnoxious for a modern audience than it ought to be for the simple reason that she and Ian are also meant to typify a Humanities/Sciences divide. It makes sense that a Science teacher would look for a mechanical fault in a malfunctioning machine, and that a History teacher would try a more narrative approach. I also think it's rather fascinating that Barbara's way of thinking is pretty much the way later incarnations of the Doctor would approach a similar situation - clearly our Babs had an enormous impact on the Doctor over this episode.

Ian Chesterton: the mocking face of the patriarchy

Anyway, Ian essentially tells Barbara to let the men deal with this, and the look she gives him as she finishes his sentence for him - '[k]eep an eye on Susan?' - would fell him where he stood were she in a world in which looks could kill. Yeah, sure, Ian, I'll go and babysit the scissor-happy teen, you patronising fuck. As Ian tells Barbara not to tell Susan about her theory about something being in the ship - presumably to save her irrational ladybrain from dwelling on such unsettling matters - Susan (predictably) rocks up all stealthy-like, dressed as some distinctly nun-like sleepwear, eavesdropping like crazy and stealing the scissors from their resting place on the table.

Left to their Sciency Maleness, the Doctor and Ian are trying to read the numbers on the fault locator, but the numbers keep blurring before their eyes. Which can't be good.

Meanwhile, Barbara is checking on Susan, whose resemblance to a nun has been heightened by the wimple-like compress draped over her head. Susan remembers who Barbara is but questions her first-aiding, claiming there's nothing wrong with her. There's some tense chit-chat during which Susan continues to act like a possessed novice in a horror movie before Barbara cuts to the chase teacher-style: 'Susan, why don't you give me those scissors?'

Sister Act 3: Back in the habit STAB IT

No flies on you, Babs.

Susan asks Barbara why she's been lying to her about something being on the ship. Babs tries to diffuse the situation as Susan continues to brandish the scissors at her, then takes advantage of Susan's hesitation to wrestle the scissors from her. You're a braver woman than I am, Babs.

Disarmed, Susan continues to be creepy as hell:

SUSAN: I've never noticed the shadows before. It's so silent in the ship.
BARBARA: Yes…or we're imagining things. We must be…I mean, how would anything get into the ship anyway?
SUSAN: The doors were open.
BARBARA: Yes, but…but where would it hide?
SUSAN: In one of us.

DUN-DUN-DUNNNNNNN!!! But seriously Susan WHAT THE FUCK? I must say I enjoy the weird noncommittal mucking about with horror movie tropes almost as much as I enjoy the fact that to go down that path the show would have had to have had a considerably bigger budget. This serial really is the forerunner of a lot of New Who episodes. I know Midnight often gets mentioned in conjunction with The Edge of Destruction, but it also lays the foundations for episodes like Amy's Choice or Journey to the Centre of the Tardis where the showrunners did actually have that kind of money lying around and would have had no trouble staging, say, the bit at the beginning of this episode where the teachers still think they're in Coal Hill School.

Anyway, Babs clearly realises she's on the gothic/irrational/feminine side of an antiquated gender equation, because she wonders aloud what the others on the classical/rational/masculine side of things would think if they heard them talking like this. 'Suppose there isn't a fault,' says Susan ominously, setting herself up for a jumpscare as Ian enters, observing that she 'must be clairvoyant', as there isn't in fact a fault. Curiouser and curiouser.

However, when Ian informs them that the genius Doctor has decided that if the fault isn't inside the ship then it must be outside it and is going to check the scanner, Susan the Living Klaxon leaps up from her recliner and runs into the control room, yelling that he mustn't touch. It turns out that Susan's mystery neck pain occurred when she tried to touch the Tardis controls. Ian, rubbing the back of his neck like a troll, observes that he and Babs haven't been similarly affected.

The Doctor tries the switch anyway...and nothing happens. Then the scanner starts up, and in another glorious meta 'look at how much budget we don't have' moment, they realise the scanner isn't really showing images from outside but just a series of photographs. It turns out the Tardis memory banks have started a slideshow of holiday snaps from previous adventures before showing what I'm pretty sure are images from the Thals' hexagon history database: a planet; a planet from a distance; a galaxy; then a blinding flash.

Everyone is Very Confuz. The Doctor, however, rounds on Ian, having decided that since he hasn't a clue what's going on it must be the fault of the two humans, who have sabotaged his ship. Outrageous! The three of them argue for a bit, but it's Babs who eventually goes for the jugular and sets the gold standard for every companion since who has ever called out Doctor Bullshit on his Time Lord Nonsense:

YES BARBARA! TAKE HIM TO SCHOOL! I'll dock you a point for trying to belittle him with ageism, but otherwise this tirade is absolutely spot on and entirely deserved. It's also a key moment in the Doctor's character development, as I'll bet nobody has spoken to him like that in a good long while. Admittedly, as we're about to see, the Doctor doesn't immediately and magically become a better person as a result of this talking-to, but in the long term I'd argue it's incredibly effective in terms of the Doctor's long relationship with the human race and its impact on his character. In fact I'd go so far as to say that if it weren't for Babs, this would have been a very different show with a far less likeable lead.

We're not allowed to revel in this epic schooling, however, because Barbara's mic-drop is rudely interrupted by Salvador Dali or rather a big melty clock staring Babs in the face as she turns to leave. She lets out a blood-curdling scream because...she's always hated surrealism? 

Stop all the clocks...

The others gather round, showing varying levels of concern, and the humans realise their wristwatches have also got melty faces. Barbara rips hers off, throws it across the room with another scream, and collapses weeping into the nearest chair. At this point, having seen her in action in The Daleks, I'm more inclined to say this outburst of hysteria is in character than I was when she was having a breakdown all over An Unearthly Child and being mollycoddled by Ian. Clearly this is a woman at the absolute end of her tether, and if that means having a meltdown over a clock after having given the Doctor a piece of her mind, then I'm ok with that. This is also not just another excuse for Ian to smother her or to showcase his 'I am a big strong man and I will deal with the things with which your hysterical ladybrain cannot cope' abilities; this is all about Babs.

Well, for the moment, because having patted her on the shoulder and left her to calm down, Ian turns to the Doctor all 'I am so rational'-like to tell him he can hardly blame them for turning the Tardis into a surrealist painting. Only to find that the Doctor has popped out to get them all some drinks to calm them down. They're definitely not spiked.

Anyway, Babs is going to bed, followed by Susan, whose parting words to her grandfather are a plea to make it up with Barbara. YES GIRL SOLIDARITY! And oh the solidarity continues after the ladies have retired because now Ian is chiding the Doctor in his most teachery voice:

Oh Ian, you gain many-many brownie point for this. Also, I imagine that he and Babs have the world's best good cop/bad cop routine going on back in Coal Hill School. The Doctor tells Ian this is 'no time for manners' and that 'rash action is worse than no action at all'. However, because the Doctor has offended his Bae, Ian is like a dog with a bone: 'I don't see anything rash in apologising to Barbara', he retorts. Then this happens:

IAN: Frankly Doctor, I find it hard to keep pace with you.
DOCTOR: You mean to keep one jump ahead. That you will never be. You need my knowledge and ability to apply it and then you need my experience, to gain the fullest results.
IAN: Results? For good or for evil?
DOCTOR: One man's law is another man's crime. Sleep on it Chesterton, sleep on it.

Fucking HELL, Doctor, that's in NO way horribly disconcerting. No way would I sleep after that, unless I'd been drugged, which is precisely what has happened to the others though they don't realise it yet. Surely they'll all be murdered in their beds by this malevolent imp!

Babs, meanwhile, has donned one of the Tardis's sleeping habits for lady sleepers who like to preserve their modesty. Susan apologises for her grandfather, which is rather poignant. Babs is rather cold with her but at least doesn't blame Susan for the Doctor's douchebaggery. Susan begs her to try to understand and forgive him. Babs tells her to try to get some sleep.

And now the Doctor is in full creepy giggly goblin mode, and is checking to see whether he has successfully drugged the rest of the crew, which in fact he has. He chuckles disconcertingly. Ian is rocking some Tardis sleeping negligé for gentlemen sleepers who like to show a bit of leg.

And now Doctor Chuckles is in full Rumpelstintskin mode, fingers twitching with anticipation over the Tardis controls...but oh horror! Two hands have appeared from nowhere and have seized the Doctor by the neck!

HOLY CLIFFHANGER BATMAN! WILL THIS MYSTERY STRANGLER THROTTLE DOCTOR DOUCHEBAG? WILL THE DOCTOR DECIDE TO BE LESS OF A BELLEND AFTER HIS TALKING-TO FROM BABS? WILL BARBARA AND THE DOCTOR MAKE IT UP AND BECOME THE NEW MRS. ANNA AND KING OF SIAM? WILL THERE EVER BE AN EXPLANATION FOR THE TARDIS'S BIZARRE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS? WHAT IN FACT IS GOING ON?

Summary (as applicable to this episode)

Does it pass the Bechdel test? After a rocky couple of episodes, we're back on track with several plot-heavy conversations between Susan and Babs.

Is the gaze problematic? No.

Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads'? No, but Ian is showing a lot of leg in his sleep attire.

Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? No.

Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? No.

Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? No.

Is/are the woman companion's/s' first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? There's quite a lot of gratuitous screaming fro the women this week, what with Susan's continued inability to express concern for her grandfather's wellbeing without shattering my eardrums and Babs's sudden phobia of clocks.

Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? Nope.

Is a woman 'spared' the ordeal of having to do/witness something unpleasant by a man who makes a decision on her behalf/keeps her deliberately ignorant? Yes. Poor Susan.

Does the woman companion have to be calmed/comforted by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? Ian pats Barbara on the shoulder after she starts crying in a chair, but it's in no way overbearing.

Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode's antagonist(s)? Hmm, Susan is most affected by memory loss and freakish behaviour, but Ian is the first to be menaced with the scissors.

Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? No.

Does the woman companion come up with a plan? No.

Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? Nah,

Does a woman come up with a theory and is it ridiculed by the Doctor/a man? Yes and yes.

Does a woman call the Doctor out on his bullshit? YES.

Does a woman get to be a badass? See above.

Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? It's mostly the Doctor pulling the strings this week.

Is there past/future/alien sexism? I'm going to say that the Victorian Gothic Gender Binaries count as past sexism.

Does a 'present'-day character call anybody out on past/future/alien sexism? No.

Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.

Verdict

Fascinating in terms of character development and as a precedent for more ambitious self-contained episodes in the Who That Is To Come. Barbara really gets to shine, and Susan gets to be all freaky and possibly possessed and threaten to stab people with scissors. The Doctor is a nob in this episode, but as we've seen, Babs is probably going to be instrumental in changing that. Didn't enjoy the women-are-irrational/men-are-rational slant on the episode, though I'll reserve judgement until either party is proven to be in the right. 

Series 1 Episode 11: The Rescue

Serial: The Daleks
Episode: 7 (The Rescue)
Doctor: William Hartnell
Companions: Barbara, Ian, and Susan

Writer: Terry Nation
Director: Richard Martin
Producer: Verity Lambert
Original Air Date: 01/02/1964

BABY'S FIRST GENOCIDE (and other stories)

We return to our very literal cliffhanger, with Antodus dangling over a ravine on the end of a rope tied like an umbilical cord to the waist of Ian Chesterton, whose fingers are slipping on the polystyrene rock. But wait! Whose sandals are these to the rescue?

The Thals: setting a precedent for inappropriate Whovian footwear

It’s Ganatus! Who is only just keeping Ian from falling into the abyss on account of Ian’s sweaty palms and Antodus’s inability to get a grip in just about every sense of the phrase. Ganatus is losing them, so he calls for the others, by which I mean he calls for Kristas rather than Babs, neither of whom respond to the call.

And OH DRAMA! Antodus is brandishing a knife and has begun cutting through the rope! Don’t do it, Antodus! And of course he can’t hear me, because the next second, the rope that ties him to Ian is cut and Antodus is plunging to his death. As Ian pulls up the severed rope with shaking hands, Ganatus looks on, distraught and suddenly brother less.

Rope? Nope.

Meanwhile, in the Dalek city, the Doctor and Susan have been captured and are being held against the wall with handcuffs, which is pretty amazing for a city with no humanoid furniture in it. Clearly the Daleks were super optimistic about getting some Thal prisoners someday. Anyway, the Daleks are now determined that only one race can survive on Skaro, and that the key to their being able to escape the city and move about is to carry out their nuclear bombardment NOW. The Doctor condemns ‘this senseless, evil killing’ and is generally very impressive, while Susan…is mostly redundant in this scene. C’mon, scriptwriters, give a girl a break.

Back in the caves, Kristas the Other Thal who Doesn’t Talk Much returns to the Grievesome Threesome to inform them of yet more bad news: there’s no way through and they have to go back. Everyone’s pretty crushed, and Ganatus is having some kind of existential crisis: they did their best and more, but Elyon was still sucked into the maw of Space Charybdis/Cthulu and Antodus was still sent howling into the abyss and nothing makes sense anymore. Poor Ganatus. Barbara insists that they can’t give up now; Ganatus gives her a look that essentially says WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME BABS. Ian, rather shamelessly, plays the ‘your brother has literally just died’ card to persuade Ganatus to go on, presumably so his death wouldn’t have been in vain.

Oh and misery upon misery, the torch is dying, leaving them all with the alarming prospect of being stuck dying in the dark like Kristin Scott Thomas in The English Patient. Defeated, they determine to go back, and switch of the torch to conserve it…BUT WAIT! Where’s that light coming from? Ian furtles about at the rockface for a moment, and JOY OF JOYS, they’re through! It turns out they were underneath the pipes the whole time and have come out right in the middle of the Dalek city. Rejoice!

Back in the jungle, Alydon and Dyoni notice the Dalek antennae have stopped moving and must’ve been taken out. They realise the Doctor and Susan must have been captured, and Alydon gives Dyoni the most awkward pat on the head I’ve ever seen in my life by way of comforting her. In fact it’s rare to see such a blatant lack of chemistry between two characters who are meant to be sort of betrothed unless it’s in the Arranged Marriage Bit of a fairytale. Congratulations on your passionlessness, you crazy kids. Anyway, Alydon is trying to persuade the Thals to fight for Gondor or Rohan or Frodo or something and it’s awkward as fuck, but at least one of the extras responds to his ‘we may be farmers but have we forgotten how to fight?’ speech by brandishing some manner of knuckle duster, so maybe it doesn’t matter that he’s not exactly Churchillian in his oratory.

#stillabetterlovestorythantwilight

Meanwhile, the Doctor is trying to stall the Daleks by telling them he has a really neat time machine and that he’ll tell them its philosophy of movement if they let him go. The Daleks think he’s bluffing, and he tells them to have a look at the fluid link if they don’t believe him, and it just so happens that they have it to hand (well, plunger). Well, that’s one mystery solved. In a rather chilling moment, the Daleks refuse the Doctor’s bargain and wave aside his protests that only he can tell them how the Tardis works, telling him that ‘every problem has a solution’. Shudder. But what’s this? A disturbance in the Force(field) tells the Daleks that the Thals have entered the city; Susan looks delighted; but will they be in time?

Cut to Team Trousers (or what’s left of it), being stealthy as balls as they creep along the excellent corridors of the Dalek city, with Ian (or course) in the lead. Nobody really knows where they’re going, and Babs has a fantastically dry meta moment when she says that she has ‘some experience of these corridors’ and that ‘they all look alike’. This serial is all about the budget jokes. A Dalek pedals by (with audible foot-pedalling) sounding the alert about the Thals in the city, and manages not to notice Team Trousers a-lurking. They realise Alydon et al must be in the city, and resolve to get to the control room asap.

And the control room is exactly where we go next, where the Daleks are watching the footage from the interior videoscopes on level eight, where Ian is smashing shit up like Beyoncé.

The Doctor is out of bargaining chips and has resorted to begging the Daleks to ‘stop it, please’. It’s an important moment for his character, actually: he’s usually so confident that his superior smarts can get him out of anything, but now he’s up against an adversary immune to reason and reasoning, and he’s suddenly very powerless. It’s fascinating to think that it’s this sort of thing that lays the foundations for the Doctor’s ongoing enmity with the Daleks. Anyway, the Daleks have begun the countdown…eep! But at least it’s a countdown from 100, which buys Team Trousers time enough to save the day (we hope).

Back in the corridors, who should Team Trousers run into but Alydon! Bless his heart, it seems that he and his merry men have been wandering around without really knowing what they’re doing because without the Doctor they didn’t know what they were looking for in the Dalek city. Upon hearing that the Doctor and Susan have been captured, Babs insists that their rescue ought to be the first priority; Ian, however, maintains that they need to find the control room. In the background, rather poignantly, the Thals tell Alydon that Antodus died bravely.

Barbara, who, for all her making light of it, does seem to have a better knack for navigating Dalek corridors than the rest of her companions, suggests they make their way to the lift, and they’re about to do just that when the Daleks start sealing off the corridor intersections. Drama! Which, if I could find the relevant gif, I would illustrate using boiler-room scenes from 1997 blockbuster Titanic. Who’d have thought that film would hold so many analogies for Hartnell-era Who?

She's made of iron, sir - I assure you, she can.

As doors begin closing in their faces, they rush forwards to hold another closing door open just wide enough for Barbara to squeeze through it. As Alydon follows her under the door, Barbara yells that there’s another one right ahead and darts forward with reckless bravery while Alydon yells for her to get to it quickly. Ganatus, who is right behind them, yells her name in response to something that’s happening just offscreen, which we must assume is Babs being crushed to death by a door as a result of her fearless badassery.

Cut back to the Daleks, who have noticed that Team Doorstop is preventing the blocking-off of certain intersections on level nine! Crumbs almighty, they're increasing the power! And the countdown is halfway to complete! Such tension!

Meanwhile, Babs has indeed wedged herself under the next door, which comes down hard across her middle as the boys rush forwards to try to lift said door.

Barbara Wright, the Amazing Human Doorstop

Ganatus has wedged himself into the larger gap and helps wiggle Barbara through as Ian tells her useful things she hadn’t thought of before like ‘you must try and roll out, try and free yourself’.

Team Doorstop Relay

As the pressure increases and the countdown progresses, the other Thals and Ian make it under the door one by one; against all the Laws of Telly, nobody is left behind – score!

Babs works the Thal Assembly Line

Meanwhile, a random Thal has been exterminated in the control room as the Daleks continue the countdown. There’s a neat 360-ish shot of the control room that comes to rest on none other than our two humans leading the Thal Sneaking Party along another excellent corridor. Barbara has a rope; Alydon has a stick. There’s some nice camera-work around the control room as Ian and Alydon manage to get to the alcove where the Doctor and Susan are all chained up and free them. Then this happens:

Ladies and gentlemen, Barbara Wright just ran out from a corridor and threw a large rock at a Dalek. And was shot at. And survived by running behind a bit of corridor. Because being menaced by plungers is so six episodes ago and now she’s owning everything.

The Dalek gives chase to Bamfbara and is promptly lassoed by said Bamf and restrained by assorted Thals. Because who needs guns and gadgets and gizmos and a functioning Tardis and timey-wimey and technobabble when you’ve got Barbara Wright with a rope in the conservatory and Alydon with the lead piping in the ballroom? All hell breaks loose: Ian throws a stone at a Dalek and it recoils in disbelief; Kristas DROPS IN ON A ROPE only to be lasered right in the bread basket but stays on his feet long enough to steer a Dalek into a piece of equipment that promptly explodes; Thals are jumping on Daleks left, right, and centre. It’s glorious.

And what’s even better, it seems that Our Heroes have managed to knock out the power source! I’m not sure if this is to do with the antennae and the decreasing power levels the Daleks have been reporting sporadically all episode or whether this is to do with Kristas (who’s alive but wounded) smashing a Dalek into the camera, but either way, the Daleks are mostly powerless to move. Ian gleefully kicks one of the Daleks across the floor to prove this.

One of the Daleks is an enormous drama queen and responds to the Doctor’s shockingly cold refusal to help restore the power by flinging its eyestalk skywards and turning away in a final spasm of death. So…the Daleks are all dead now. Yay genocide.

At least Alydon seems to appreciate how shitty their victory really is: five hundred years of destruction ends in the wiping out of an entire race by a people who thought they’d sworn off violence for good. The Doctor, ominously, supposes they’ll have other wars to fight. Ian has rather gleefully procured the fluid link, which means Team Tardis can now go home, but it all seems pretty trivial (just as he predicted, in fact). As he helps Kristas to walk back out of the city, Alydon wonders aloud what the Thals are going to do with all this useless machinery they don’t know how to use; Barbara, who has Kristas’s other arm, says they’ll just have to experiment.

Then it’s just Susan and Ganatus left; Susan says that with the Daleks’ artificial sunlight food production methods they Thals will have all they need, now. Ganatus, who let’s not forget has very recently lost a brother, seems less than enthused: ‘If only there’d been…some other way’, he muses; the camera lingers on the silent control room full of upended, dead Daleks as the hollow victors leave the scene.

Back in the jungle, Dyoni is going around feeding people what appear to be raisins. Ian is surrounded by Thal women, and the Doctor is talking to Alydon about rebuilding Skaro. Alydon asks the Doctor where he comes from, and whether he’ll stay and help. Then this happens:

Iconic dialogue is iconic. Though I’d love to know more about the Doctor as a Gallifreyan pioneer. Sounds interesting. And problematic. Two of my favourite things. The Doctor suggests he might come back and see how their grandchildren are getting on.

Susan, meanwhile, has acquired a Thal cape from Dyoni, and falls over whilst spinning around in it. It’s stripey and contains no hexagons - shocker! Barbara and Ganatus are nowhere to be seen so I’m going to assume they’re making out in the bushes somewhere. There are hugs for Alydon, and oh, THERE are Barbara and Ganatus, trying to say goodbye without Ian being an oblivious third wheel. Then this happens:

BARBARA: Well, Ganatus?
GANATUS: Well, Barbara?
(He hands her a length of Thal cloth.)
GANATUS: The dress you make from this won’t be suitable for swamps and caverns but…
BARBARA: Well, that's a good thing.
GANATUS: Yes.
BARBARA: It’s beautiful. Thank you very much. Thank you for everything.
GANATUS: (Hesitates.) I wish we…
(SUSAN pops her head out of the TARDIS.)
SUSAN: Barbara! We’re waiting!

ARGH ON SO MANY LEVELS! They’re having this beautifully awkward and weirdly intense farewell and he gives her material for a dress to remember him by!? Are you kidding me!? Ok so this might actually be one of her skills and/or hobbies, and I personally enjoy knitting a LOT, so I’m not going to judge a woman for being into her arts and crafts, but it’s literally never been mentioned before onscreen so I’m going to say this is sexist bullshit right now. Yes they might’ve had a conversation offscreen in which Barbara happened to mention that she was shit hot at dressmaking, in which case this would be a lovely and thoughtful gift, but without any setting up this is essentially ‘I’m going to give this woman some material for a dress because women love making and wearing dresses’. BAH. And the second level of ARGH is not so much a quibble over sexist gift-giving as a testament to the simplicity and effectiveness of having Susan interrupt before Ganatus can say just what he wishes they could [verb]. It’s probably been said before, but given the Very Problematic Fate of Susan Foreman a few serials down the line, Babs needs to be careful about lingering goodbyes within Tardis scanner range, because the Doctor is the psychotic matchmaker from hell and has no scruples whatsoever about abandoning women on strange planets to marry hot aliens they’ve only just met.

Then shalalalalala-my-oh-my this happens:

YES BABS! YOU KISS THAT THAL! FIRST HUMAN ON DOCTOR WHO TO SWAP SALIVA WITH ANOTHER CHARACTER AND INDEED FIRST INTERSPECIES SMOOCH ON THE SHOW. I also love that Ganatus is being all lingering with his Very Intense hand-kissing and Babs just throws caution to the wind and goes in for a swift snog (oh god I’ve turned into J.K. Rowling) that essentially doubles as a mic-drop before running back to the Tardis like a human honey badger.

Babs channels her inner Loretta

As the Tardis dematerialises, Ganatus looks pretty crestfallen. Dyoni tells him not to be sad; Ganatus says ‘I don’t think I’ll ever forget her’. Which is the correct response to the situation. Because who cares that his brother is dead and his friends are dead and his old leader is dead and he’s gone from being a pacifist to being complicit in a genocide in the space of a few days, he’s never going to see Bamfbara again…and I’m not entirely sure I’m being sarcastic. As the Thals lapse into a thoughtful silence, during which I’m assuming the full fucked-upness of what they’ve been through settles on them like the psychological equivalent of nuclear fallout, Dyoni walks around the empty space left by the vanished Tardis.

And now it’s comfortably quiet on the Tardis front: the Doctor is at the controls; Susan has changed her outfit and is having a snack; Barbara is still holding her Thal fabric and smiles at Ian as he passes before drifting out of the room; Ian is...stealing Susan’s food? Then – BANG! The Doctor, Susan, and Ian are flung to the ground as the lights go out in the control room.

OH MY GOODNESS IS NOWHERE SAFE? HAS THE TARDIS BLOWN A FUSE? WILL OUR HEROES SUSTAIN BRUISES TO THEIR UPPER ARMS? WILL THEY EVER GET TO HAVE A WELL-EARNED NAP? WILL BARBARA ACTUALLY MAKE HERSELF A DRESS OUT OF THAT FABRIC OR JUST CUDDLE IT FROM TIME TO TIME WHEN NOBODY ELSE IS LOOKING? HOW WILL THE THALS REBUILD THEIR SOCIETY? HOW DOES THIS FIT INTO THE DALEKS' GENERAL TIMELINE? WILL SUSAN GET SOMETHING INTERESTING TO DO NEXT EPISODE?

Summary (as applicable to this episode)

Does it pass the Bechdel test? OH THE SHAME, I'm pretty sure this week is another fail.

Is the gaze problematic? Not particularly.

Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads’? Nope.

Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? Babs throws herself under a door but that's very much a planned fall.

Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? Yes, but so is the Doctor.

Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? The Thals and Ian have to move pretty sharpish to save Babs from being crushed under a door, but I'm pretty sure this doesn't really count as she's only under the door in the first place to save the others from being trapped in a corridor.

Is/are the woman companion’s/s’ first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? Nope.

Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? Nope.

Does the woman companion have to be calmed down by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? Nope. Though Alydon does have an awkward moment with Dyoni in which she looks in need of comfort and he is utterly wooden about it.

Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode’s antagonist(s)? Nope.

Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? No.

Is a man shamed/manipulated/compelled into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman being harmed? Nope.

Does the woman companion come up with a plan? Ian is again reasonably bossy, and the Doctor is the one doing all the talking in captivity (poor Susan), but Team Doorstop seems to be working together pretty well.

Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? No.

Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? Ian again, though as I say there's a lot of everyone (except Susan) being a badass (poor Susan).

Does a woman companion get to be a badass? YES BARBARA. Human doorstop, stone-thrower, Dalek-catcher.

Is there past/future/alien sexism? The Thal women don't do much.

Does an past/future/alien person have the hots for a woman companion and is it reciprocated? HELL YES.

Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.

Verdict

Mostly action this week, which is fine, because we've had a good few Moral Dilemma episodes this serial and it's always fun to have a running-around-fighting-stuff episode in the mix to balance it out. It also meant that Babs got a chance to showcase some of her badassery, which was fantastic, but Susan had another mostly-redundant week in which she was generally chained to a wall not doing much. Babs also chalked up another first for the show when she decided life was too short not to get some of whatever action was on offer before skipping off back to the Tardis. Chillingly, this week was the first genocide on the show, which was at least acknowledged in part by the silent lingering of the camera on a room of upended Daleks and little dialogue moments from an evidently unsettled Ganatus. I actually thought the somewhat anticlimactic ending was really appropriate, whether or not it was intentional. Disturbingly, the Doctor doesn't seem too phased by their having wiped out the Daleks, which is interesting given the moral dilemmas looming in his future. It's clear just how much hanging around with humans has changed him as a character when you compare One to his subsequent incarnations. Next week, for the love of all that's holy, let's have some character development for Susan. And women talking to each other. Come on, Doctor Who, if you can't pass the Bechdel test in a serial set entirely aboard the Tardis with only Team One aboard, there really is no hope for you.

Series 1 Episode 10: The Ordeal

Serial: The Daleks
Episode: 6 (The Ordeal)
Doctor: William Hartnell
Companions, Barbara, Ian, and Susan

Writer: Terry Nation
Director: Richard Martin
Producer: Verity Lambert
Original Air Date: 25/01/1964

EMOTIONAL SPELUNKING (and other stories)

Get your caving junk and/or electro-funk on, because this week Team Trousers (ok I know Ian hasn't bought into the Thals' hexagonal fashions, but I'm still calling it that) is going to stretch metaphors like they've never been stretched before. Or something.

We open with Elyon the Doomed Thal being hoovered into oblivion by Space Charybdis. By the time the rest of Team Trousers comes running, the Lake of Mutations looks like a blocked toilet down which someone has attempted to flush a few Capri Sun packets. Ian decrees there's nothing they can do here. Babs, perhaps out of tact, calls Ian back over to the campsite, leaving brothers Ganatus and Antodus to deal with the fact that their friend has, y'know, died. Antodus is spooked; Ganatus tries to comfort his brother in a distinctly Chestertonian way, by which I mean he grips his arms a lot and says it must at least have been quick. And besides, they must reach the cliffs by tonight. The Thals are going to have a lot of backed-up emotional shit to deal with at the end of this serial.

Do they even have plumbers on Skaro?

Meanwhile, the D(octor)A(lydon)D(yoni)S(usan) are checking out the Dalek city. Susan is doing some recon with a pair of genuinely gorgeous binoculars, while Dyoni is filling in the map using Susan's information. When the Doctor tries to get up to have a look-see, Susan rather shrilly tells him to get back down. And yes I know shrillness is generally a complaint levelled against women as a means of undermining them and invalidating what they actually have to say, but I swear Susan only has two volume settings: tremulous and ear-splitting. And it doesn't help that she's not generally given much in terms of actually having something to say by the scriptwriters at this stage. I'm going to have to give this some serious thought at some point: do I find Susan annoying because she's given genuinely shoddy character treatment, or do I find Susan annoying because I've unconsciously internalised a lot of sexist crap about the worth of a woman's words being determined by the agreeableness of her tone? Anyway, the Doctor reckons they need to put the Daleks' TV and Radio coverage out of action so they'll be able to sneak up on the city. Alydon just wishes the DADS knew what the Daleks were planning for them.

As though in response to Alydon's musings, we are transported to the Dalek city. It turns out it will take 23 days to make another neutron bomb. To which the Daleks' attitude is essentially 'well fuck that'. Daleks have better shit to do. They must find another way.

But enough of that! Because now we're into spelunking territory, and - joy of joys! - Barbara and Ganatus have been paired up. I'll accept that it's dark and they only have one torch and Ganatus is more used to those really flimsy and impractical-looking Thal sandals than Barbara is, but I'll bet Ian isn't holding hands like that with Antodus and/or Kristas (the Other Thal who Doesn't Talk Much) in whatever part of the cave he's exploring. Then again, perhaps he is.

Anyway, these two make me happy inside, if only because when Babs says something like 'Oh, it's like all the other caves - just tails off into a dead end', Ganatus doesn't mollycoddle her or patronise her or grab her arms and enunciate platitudes into her face, but rather turns to look at her, laughs, and says, 'Well, there's a gloomy thought for you', which actually makes Barbara do a laugh-smile. Is this the first time we've seen her grin? I'm going to say yes and prepare to be contradicted by anyone who cares enough to contradict me.

Stop Press: Barbara Wright is GRINNING

I'm just going to take a moment here to appreciate how much Barbara's character is developing already: having spent most of 'An Unearthly Child'/'100,000 BC' not really coping with stuff, and having spent the first couple of episodes of 'The Daleks' being terrorised by sink plungers and dying of radiation sickness, she then seemed to decide to get proactive and deal with stuff on her own terms, whether puzzling out the Daleks' mobility issues by thinking of them as overgrown dodgems or taking out a deadly alien war machine using mud from Susan's shoes; now she's in for a penny in for a pound, trekking through narrow caves in a mostly-Thal outfit, no longer glued to Ian's side, and finding time to enjoy the company of the only Thal on Skaro who takes things with as big-a pinch of salt as she does and can make her laugh at herself in a way that doesn't do any damage to her self-esteem. You go, Babs.

Barbara wonders aloud how Ian and the others are getting on. Ganatus, whose gently mocking inflections please me greatly in a show full of Very Earnest People, says they ought to 'make sure this [relationship cave passage] is impossible first' before going back to meet the others. And OH how crushing, it's another dead end. 

AAAAAAAAND we're back with Babs's default facial expression.

But WAIT! Barbara can hear something, and it's the sound of dripping water. After some investigation, it turns out there is a way through after all, and it's a passageway of some sort. 'Well, that wont be easy,' says Babs bluntly. Never, never change. Ganatus says it's a good job they haven't been over-eating recently, which is pretty bleak given that the Thals are pretty much about to be wiped out from famine, but if anyone appreciates dark humour it's probably Barbara. Then this happens:

GANATUS: Well, we won't use one of the customs of your planet.
BARBARA: And what's that?
GANATUS: "Ladies first".
BARBARA: Well, I should hope not!

YAAAAAAAAASSSS! Alien highlights human gender construct! I mean don't get me wrong, the Thals' gender politics are all over the place, mainly because they're in a sixties sci-fi show, but this pleases me greatly (despite the irony of someone taking the piss out of misplaced chivalry in order to justify their misplaced chivalry). Also, this means that Ganatus has been talking to the humans about Earth gender politics. And has found them worthy of his mockery. Having said that, I have a feeling that just about everything that happens to Ganatus is probably something he deems worthy of his mockery.

#tapsaff

Now brace yourselves, because the gold keeps coming (which I shall try to convey through added didascalia):

GANATUS: (moving towards the entrance of the passageway) Pay the rope out as I move in, will you?
BARBARA: (busying herself with the rope) Yes, all right. But be careful. Remember what Ian said - we're not to take any chances.
Ganatus pauses at the entrance of the passageway.
GANATUS: (mockingly) Do you always do what Ian says?
Barbara looks up from the rope, hesitates for a split second, and rolls her eyes almost imperceptibly before looking determinedly at the rope in her hands again.
BARBARA: (matter-of-factly) No, I don't.

A THOUSAND TIMES YES! Barbara finally has her 'fuck the patriarchy' moment, and it's gorgeously understated. Also, despite the subtext of 'and fuck you very much for asking, Ganatus', there is palpable chemistry between these two...which I'm surprised to say doesn't really bug me. I'm generally the first one to complain when the woman companion rocks up on a planet only to find herself embroiled in some sort of romantic subplot, but I'm willing to go with this particular scenario for the following reasons:

1. It doesn't get in the way of the rest of the plot, and it doesn't cut Barbara off from the rest of the action.
2. It's not just tacked onto the action either, it's part of Barbara's ongoing character development. She's finally out from under Ian's wing, and yes she's still very much attached to her one constant from Earth, but she's starting to form other relationships of her own, and it's lovely to see. 
3. It's not just that they both look great in Hexagon Trousers: they clearly get on well, and his default gentle mockery complements her default blunt pragmatism beautifully. In other words, whether or not they have the hots for one another, there are the beginnings of a healthy platonic relationship here, too.
4. Why not? When you've been uprooted from your daily life by Oscar the Grouch, survived your own planet's prehistoric era, been stranded in an post-nuclear alien wasteland, been menaced by robotic mutants, and then been faced with an Ordeal by Spelunking, why not flirt with a dashing blonde who's clearly into you, too? Why not live a little?
5. It lowers a much-needed anchor over the side of the Barbarian ship and puts them firmly in BrOTP mode for the time being, which I think can only be a good thing this early on in the show. Don't get me wrong - though I'm almost constantly exasperated by Ian's well-meaning sexism, even I can't find it in my cold, dead heart not to ship them by the end of their time on the show. However, we still need to get to know them as individuals and not just as a portmanteau.

Ganatus follows her conversation-stopper by saying 'Well, let me have the torch, then, unless you think...?' because it's a hilarious metaphor because Ian is carrying a torch for Barbara and now Barbara and Ganatus are carrying a torch for one another I am so great at analysing things apparently he's not sure about Babs's policy about being left in the dark. She tells him his need is greater than hers and away he crawls. This shit writes itself.

It turns out that at the end of the tunnel is a drop of about thirty feet. Gulp. Down you go, Ganatus. Babs ties the rope around a rock and feeds it through using her foot as a brake. Those Thal sandals are really, really unsuitable for this job...and, sure enough, the rope slips and she's sent flying backwards with a scream that summons Ian Chesterton from wherever he happens to be in Time and Space to her exact location.

When you're Ian Chesterton and Barbara is shouting someone else's name.
Also, we need to find a less phallocentric word for cockblocking.

Ian immediately takes charge, by which I mean he starts yelling down the thirty-foot hole instead of Barbara. Ganatus, meanwhile, keeps yelling for Babs as an oblivious and Potteresque Ian ignores the mercifully uninjured Thal's concern for her wellbeing. Even more obnoxiously, he doesn't give Barbara the chance to tell Ganatus she's fine, thanks, but yells down on her behalf. Could he even be more clueless? Anyway, Ganatus has discovered several passages leading off from the thirty-foot hole, so it looks like The Ordeal isn't over yet.

Meanwhile, the Daleks are bitching about their shitty TV reception. which it turns out is because the Thals are disrupting their signals WITH THE POWER OF OCTAGONS. Because fuck hexagons. Also, fuck the patriarchy, because two of the three Thals in the octagonal mirror rave party are women. One of them is quite possibly Dyoni, because the DADS are now SAD.

Hexagons are so last episode.

Back in the caves, Ian is in the lead and Ganatus and Barbara are still holding hands along the rockface, which is widening out a bit. Barbarianatus have an important conversation about their relationship ordeal, in which Barbara wins at snark:

IAN: So far, so good. It seems to be broadening out a bit.
GANATUS: Who knows? It...may stop being impossible.
BARBARA: Just become unbearable.

Slide your feet up the street, bend your back, shift your arm, then you pull it back.

Ganatus and his brother Antodus have a conversation in which Antodus really, really doesn't want to go on. Ganatus is having none of it. Antodus suggests going back and telling the other Thals the others were killed by the Daleks, seeing as how they're all going to die anyway. On a serious note, why did these guys make Antodus come along if they knew he was afraid? Toxic Thal Masculinity at its worst. They have a brief scuffle, during which Ganatus knocks Antodus down and is instantly mortified; this is followed by a rockfall. Ganatus takes a leaf out of Barbara's book and yells for Ian. Problematically, Ganatus lies about the injury he inflicted upon Antodus, telling the others that Antodus was hit by a rock whilst pushing him out of the way, and that Antodus was very brave. So very, very toxic. At any rate, there's no turning back now.

Meanwhile, the Daleks are having an emergency. Plus ça change. They've detected something on their vibrascopes, which I'll bet is where the SAD ones are. And they are indeed by a big static electricity power terminal, which Susan opens successfully. The Doctor smashes it up a bit, then sends Alydon over to tell Team Octagon to change their position every now and then so as not to get caught. The Doctor uses the Tardis key to short-circuit the power terminal.

Spending quality grandfather-granddaughter time together being vandals.

Then this happens:

DOCTOR: Now, we've short…we've shorted it, you see? So something must have gone somewhere else! The extent of the damage, of course, we don’t know yet.
SUSAN: Look, Grandfather, this is marvellous, but...but they must have a fault locator somewhere. We must get away from here!
DOCTOR: (Boasting.) But, my dear child, don’t you realise what I've done? A few simple tools...
SUSAN: Yes, but we mustn't...
DOCTOR: ...a superior brain?
SUSAN: ...waste time, we must go now!

This is great character stuff: the Doctor is so pleased with himself and so insistent that Susan acknowledge his genius that he is oblivious to her entirely sensible concerns. And she's proven right, because who should turn up at that very moment but...The Daleks! Ruh-roh.

Back in the caves, Ian nearly falls down a ravine. He and Ganatus seem to have struck up a rapport, and they send the others back to have a rest while they both squat on the edge of the sheer drop like rival models for The Thinker, trying to puzzle it out. Antodus and Kristas I can see complying without protest, seeing as Antodus has no desire to be there and Kristas is the Other Thal who Doesn't Talk Much, but it's annoying that Babs has effectively been silenced by Ian's having rejoined the group. There's a small ledge on the other side and a cleft in the rock face. It's too deep-a drop to climb down and up again by rope, so they're going to have to jump...GULP.

What you looking for in there?

There's a hilarious romcom moment where both Ian and Ganatus say they'll jump first at the same time and then giggle at their crises of masculinity, then tell the others what's afoot. Barbara and Ian share another romcom moment in which she wishes him good luck and there's a Touch Full of Unspoken Stuff. Ian leaps...

...and makes it! And breaks a little bit of the set in the process because the rockface is made of polystyrene and he gripped it a bit too hard. Ian tells Ganatus to come over next so they can 'explore that cleft in the rock' because there's 'just about enough room for two' on the ledge. Share and share alike, says I. It's Barbara and Ganatus's turn for a romcom moment now, as Barbara wishes him 'good luck', too, and they have a Touch Full of Unspoken Stuff. Ganatus leaps...

...and makes it! Ian seems momentarily shaken by the eroticism of having been pinned back against the rockface by several feet of Flying Blonde Adonis, but he recovers well. He's rather sweet actually, telling Ganatus he should've come first because his jumping is really great. To be honest, all this cave stuff is just one massive excuse for Team Trousers to get all up-close and personal in the adrenaline-fuelled dark, and I am ok with that. Anyway, Ganatus is away for a little cleft-exploration; there's a handhold and a tunnel behind it. Ganatus tells Ian to bring the others over; Ian braces himself for impact.

Meanwhile Susan and the Doctor have been captured and are sitting on the floor surrounded by Daleks. The Daleks accuse them of vandalism, and the Doctor is all 'well yeah we broke one of your lifts but you killed the Thal leader so we're quits'. What. The Doctor tells the Daleks they'll be responsible for more deaths unless they help the Thals. Then this happens:

Chills on multiple levels, not least because this is one of the few instances in which the Daleks use the word EXTERMINATE or a variant thereof in this first serial. It's easy to see how this became their catchphrase: it cuts right to the core of their characterisation, and is symptomatic of a defining Doctor/Daleks moment in which he calls them murderers and they define themselves as exterminators. It's essentially the moment they become Space Nazis.

Meanwhile, in the caves, it's Babs's turn to jump, and, predictably, she's allowed a far more lingering moment all pressed up against Ian because sexism and heteronormativity. It's quite funny, actually: she makes the jump, then sort of comes round in a daze, murmuring 'oh...I thought I wouldn't make it', as though she expected to be at the bottom of a ravine rather than all up in Ian's grill and finds it all dreamily anticlimactic. Perhaps she thought that, because of the Rules of Telly, she as the woman of the group would be the obligatory One Member Of The Group Who Doesn't Make It To Safety And Must Endure Further Peril Before Being Delivered Entirely From Harm. Which leaves only Kristas the Potential Redshirt and Antodus who is Afraid. I wonder which of the two will fall short?

Anyway, there's more set-related hilarity as, having had Ian fall worshipfully at her feet and remove the rope from around her waist, Barbara proceeds to try to get into the clefty bit where Ganatus is waiting with her back facing the rock instead of the front and has to be helped by Ian to swing herself back round (sigh). She grips the rock a little too fervently and this happens:

Polystyrene rockface is polystyrene.

Having seen Babs safely into a darkened room with Ganatus, Ian is again very sweet to his Thal companions, telling Kristas he made his jump 'look easy'. I bet Mr. Chesterton is very encouraging in the classroom. And now it's Antodus. Who is clearly Very, Very Doomed, because everyone has made it across the ravine and he's the last to jump and he doesn't want to be there and is scared and numb-looking and OH this cannot end well.

Something something something masculinity.

Ian throws the rope; Antodus doesn't even bother trying to catch it but merely stares into the abyss. Ian once again betrays his cinnamon roll tendencies and ridiculous levels of Englishness by apologising to Antodus, claiming it was his fault and a bad throw, trying to spare Antodus's feelings. The second time around, Antodus catches it, and there's some laborious, tension-building attention paid to the tying of the rope tight around his waist. Antodus jumps...

...AND MISSES! He barrels into Ian, who is knocked off his feet, then plunges backwards into the chasm, dangling on the end of the rope tying him to the now Very Imperilled Ian, whose grip on the rock is slipping, slipping...

The stuff of actual nightmares.

I will admit that when I first saw this episode I wasn't even in double figures yet and I was absolutely horrified at this very part, where a panicking and dangling Antodus screams that he can't hold on as Ian grips the rock desperately with only his fingers, clearly about to be pulled into the chasm, too, so I can't even be particularly sarcastic when I say OH MY GOODNESS THIS IS TENSE EVEN THOUGH WE ALL SAW IT COMING.

WILL THE OTHERS GET OUT OF THE CLEFT IN TIME TO RESCUE IAN AND ANTODUS OR ARE THEY TOO BUSY MAKING OUT IN THE DARK? WILL TEAM TROUSERS EVER GET OUT OF THESE CAVES OR ARE THEY DOOMED TO SPEND THE REST OF THEIR LIVES IN POLYAMOROUS FLIRTATION BEFORE STARVING TO DEATH? WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ALYDON? WILL THE DOCTOR AND SUSAN ESCAPE FROM THE DALEKS? WILL OUR HEROES MANAGE TO STOP THE DALEKS IRRADIATING THE PLANET AGAIN? WHERE EVEN IS THE FLUID LINK? WHY DO THE THALS HAVE SUCH IMPRACTICAL SANDALS?


Summary (as applicable to this episode)

Does it pass the Bechdel test? OH GOD IT'S HAPPENED. DOCTOR WHO HAS 100% FAILED THE BECHDEL TEST THIS WEEK. I refuse to count the fact that Susan told Dyoni her drawing was shit. This is a fail. Fail, fail, fail.

Is the gaze problematic? Not particularly.

Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads’? Babs is wearing the same leather trousers as the Thal men, only it seems her hexagons are made of actual fabric, so no.

Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? Babs falls over when the rope goes haywire, but otherwise it's mostly tripping on rocks.

Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? Yes, but so is the Doctor.

Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? Kind of, if you count Ian having to coax Babs back from her misjudged approach to the cleft.

Is/are the woman companion’s/s’ first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? Babs does scream when the rope goes out from under her feet, but it's not gratuitous.

Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? Nope.

Does the woman companion have to be calmed down by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? It's mostly Antodus who needs calming this week.

Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode’s antagonist(s)? Nope.

Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? No.

Is a man shamed/manipulated/compelled into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman being harmed? Hmm. Not as such, but the whole absolutely-not-ladies-first might be similar.

Does the woman companion come up with a plan? No, but Babs is the one whose actions lead to the discovery of the tunnel/thirty-foot drop. Otherwise it's all Ian and Ganatus. By which I mean mostly Ian.

Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? No.

Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? Yup. Ian again.

Is there past/future/alien sexism? 1963 sexism? And Ganatus points out how stupid it is.

Does an past/future/alien person have the hots for a woman companion and is it reciprocated? Yes and ho.

Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.

Verdict

I'm glad Babs got to have a good flirt this episode, but oh my goodness Ian can be stifling. Susan doesn't do much either, in fact. However, the weak link of Team Trousers is Antodus rather than Barbara, which means she's not placed in any needless peril for dramatic effect. Some nice character development, too, and a defining moment in the Doctor's relationship with the Daleks. I hope some women actually talk to each other next week.