Episode: 3 (Crisis)
Doctor: William Hartnell
Companions: Barbara, Ian, and Susan
Writer: Louis Marks
Director: Mervyn Pinfield
Producer: Verity Lambert
Original Air Date: 15/11/1964
FIGHT THE WORLD YOU'RE IN (and other stories)
In which Very Important Scenes are cut from two episodes to make one travesty of an episode that ought to have been a landmark moment in the show.
So. Crisis! Let this unholy mashup of two episodes commence!
As I mentioned in the recap of the first episode of this serial, I’m going to be sticking to episode three as broadcast, unless watching the reconstructed episodes three and four throws up any gems OR INDEED SCENES THAT ARE CRUCIAL TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE ENTIRE SHOW, in which case I’ll mention it. Otherwise I’m not going to bother summarising cut scenes, as many of them are boring as hell and have no giant plugholes in them. Also, you should be warned that there is a LOT of caps lock going on this week.
(Also, I watched the reconstructions after having done the review, so there may be some...er...inconsistencies of tone and trajectory where I talk about the cut scenes. I've tried to go back over it to iron it out, but if this week's review feels like a bit of a hodgepodge, that's why.)
Anyway, Susan and the Doctor are about to be drownded because they’re hiding in the sink and the murderous scientist washing his hands of his deeds is about to pull the plug. Quick! Into the overflow pipe!
Back on the workbench, Babs reckons the Space Fam must indeed be drowned; Ian, because he doesn’t have x-ray vision, determines to find out.
Cut Scene of Interest: the cat drank some water and died, and the Space Baes go into morbid detail describing its dead body. R.I.P., Jurassic Cat.
As they both climb back down into the surprisingly dry sink, Ian tells Babs she needn’t come if she doesn’t want to, but when indeed has that ever stopped Barbara Wright doing a thing?
I should also warn you at this point that I once again have the InfoText on, which informs me that there was a retake of Ian and Barbara climbing down the plug chain because Jacqueline Hill’s hand was in shot before she climbed down. Whoops. But the important thing is that they actually came into shot from a stepladder off-camera, which gives me funny pictures in my head.
Ok, so here’s the first scene that ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CUT, because in it Barbara and Ian discuss what they would do if the Doctor and Susan really were dead:
Anyway, in the broadcast version, of the episode, Babs and Ian only momentarily believe their friends are dead, and Babs’s somewhat panicky ‘what do we do…what can we do?’ is cut short by Susan and the Doctor in full-on troll mode gloating over how difficult they are to kill. Everyone is delighted and the Space Fam is reunited and oh it is lovely indeed. Though there is an even lovelier (cut) moment in the plughole where the Doctor jokes about the Space Baes planning their lives without them. He knows those fuss-pots so well.
Oh and here’s another crucial yet inexplicably cut scene: the humans reckon no government in their right minds would ever put an insecticide like this on the market, and there’s nothing they can do about it, so they may as well scarper. And then there’s this gorgeous little meta moment from the Doctor that grows into something HUGELY IMPORTANT:
(I should also take this opportunity to note that they guy doing the William Hartnell impersonation for the cut scenes is phenomenal and should have many prank phone calls with Culshaw!Four.)
We skip back over to Forester and Smithers. Forester is planning to ring the murdered Farrow’s department and impersonate him. What could possibly go wrong? We go to what appears to be a rural post office, where the woman operating the telephone switchboard is hilariously un-fooled by Forester’s muffled voice (courtesy of a handkerchief over the mouthpiece). Though the guy Farrow works with is totally conned.
(Also, I watched the reconstructions after having done the review, so there may be some...er...inconsistencies of tone and trajectory where I talk about the cut scenes. I've tried to go back over it to iron it out, but if this week's review feels like a bit of a hodgepodge, that's why.)
Anyway, Susan and the Doctor are about to be drownded because they’re hiding in the sink and the murderous scientist washing his hands of his deeds is about to pull the plug. Quick! Into the overflow pipe!
Back on the workbench, Babs reckons the Space Fam must indeed be drowned; Ian, because he doesn’t have x-ray vision, determines to find out.
Cut Scene of Interest: the cat drank some water and died, and the Space Baes go into morbid detail describing its dead body. R.I.P., Jurassic Cat.
As they both climb back down into the surprisingly dry sink, Ian tells Babs she needn’t come if she doesn’t want to, but when indeed has that ever stopped Barbara Wright doing a thing?
I should also warn you at this point that I once again have the InfoText on, which informs me that there was a retake of Ian and Barbara climbing down the plug chain because Jacqueline Hill’s hand was in shot before she climbed down. Whoops. But the important thing is that they actually came into shot from a stepladder off-camera, which gives me funny pictures in my head.
Ok, so here’s the first scene that ABSOLUTELY SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN CUT, because in it Barbara and Ian discuss what they would do if the Doctor and Susan really were dead:
Barbara: What do we do? I mean, that’s it, what can we do?ARGH this really, really shouldn’t have been cut, because it gives us a little window into Ian’s head that was sorely needed round about the time he thought all his friends were dead in The Reign of Terror and threw himself into the English spy ring subplot rather than allowing himself even a moment (well, an onscreen moment anyway) to mourn the apparent death of Babs, Susan, and the Doctor. It also makes sense of what I thought was an odd choice for Ian given his mostly left-leaning political stance: when all else is lost, you just fight the world you’re in. And actually, despite Ian’s implied protest that the only reason he never gives in is essentially for Babs’s benefit, we’ve already seen that fighting the world he’s in is exactly what he does when he thinks in is only him left in it. (But seriously, why was this cut? JUSTICE FOR IAN’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.) Also, though obviously I’m delighted that the Doctor and Susan aren’t drowned, a small (ok, a large) part of me would like to see a spinoff in which Barbara and Ian become Borrower-sized superheroes, fighting injustice and saving the planet from deadly chemical weapons with a reel of cotton and some paperclips. Like The Girl Who Waited, but with teeny-tiny sixties schoolteachers.
Ian: Go on living. Fight the world we’re in. Make something of it.
Barbara: You never give in, do you?
Ian: If it were only me…
Barbara: It wouldn’t be any different.
 |
| Babs, Babs, Babs of the Plughole, strong as she can be! |
Anyway, in the broadcast version, of the episode, Babs and Ian only momentarily believe their friends are dead, and Babs’s somewhat panicky ‘what do we do…what can we do?’ is cut short by Susan and the Doctor in full-on troll mode gloating over how difficult they are to kill. Everyone is delighted and the Space Fam is reunited and oh it is lovely indeed. Though there is an even lovelier (cut) moment in the plughole where the Doctor jokes about the Space Baes planning their lives without them. He knows those fuss-pots so well.
Oh and here’s another crucial yet inexplicably cut scene: the humans reckon no government in their right minds would ever put an insecticide like this on the market, and there’s nothing they can do about it, so they may as well scarper. And then there’s this gorgeous little meta moment from the Doctor that grows into something HUGELY IMPORTANT:
Doctor: Our roles seem to be reversed for once.OH MY DAYS WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHYYYYYYYY DID THEY CUT THIS? This is the first time in the history of the show that the Doctor actually draws a line and decides that this, THIS RIGHT HERE, is what he will fight for. This is where he takes a stand. That he will not sit idly by and allow a planet to be destroyed. It also explains why the hell they all keep wandering about on the workbench instead of just getting back to the ship. Some idiot cut the beating heart out of this serial and I shall never forgive them. Plus the fact that the Doctor has actually put his foot down and rallied the (very reluctant) troops to save the world makes Barbara’s continued infuriating silence on the subject of her IMMINENT DEATH more understandable, in that it suggests that from this moment on she’s hoping they manage to foil the baddies and still make it back to the Tardis in time to effect a miracle cure. Even though, as we shall see, the Doctor is ultimately ok with her choosing to risk her life to give them all a chance to try to save the planet.
Barbara: What do you mean?
Doctor: Aren’t I usually the one to condemn meddling? To urge that we leave well alone? But you see, my friends, this isn’t just a minor little tragedy in some forgotten backwater. Some person has invented a way of destroying a planet. Totally destroying it. I cannot, will not, stand by an allow a whole planet to be emptied of life.
Barbara: But Doctor, we’re one inch high. What can we do like this?
Doctor: At the moment, I don’t know, but we’ll find something. Let us start from one basic premise and hold on to it with all our determination: we will stop this chemical from being spread all over the world.
(I should also take this opportunity to note that they guy doing the William Hartnell impersonation for the cut scenes is phenomenal and should have many prank phone calls with Culshaw!Four.)
We skip back over to Forester and Smithers. Forester is planning to ring the murdered Farrow’s department and impersonate him. What could possibly go wrong? We go to what appears to be a rural post office, where the woman operating the telephone switchboard is hilariously un-fooled by Forester’s muffled voice (courtesy of a handkerchief over the mouthpiece). Though the guy Farrow works with is totally conned.
(I do feel a bit bad skipping over the cut scenes at the switchboard, as Hilda the operator basically saves the day by being nosey and not being idiotic enough to believe that Forester talking through a hanky is actually Mr. Farrow. But life is short, and these cut scenes are long. Hilda, you're great, and you deserve more time than I'm giving you.)
We cut to a giant notebook that has chemistry things in it. Susan spots that it’s a formula, and Ian tells her she’s right. IAN, REMEMBER THAT THIS YOUNG WOMAN IS CLEVERER THAN YOU. Babs reckons that if it’s the formula for the insecticide, they might be able to find a cure. Ian is, however, almost aggressively dismissive: ‘A cure? What’s the good of that?’ Barbara, instead of taking this opportunity to mention that she is dying, plays it casual: ‘I dunno…’
TELL THEM YOU ARE DYING, BARBARA, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY.
Going back to that cut scene for a moment, you do forget that in Classic Who in the very early days, it’s not just the normal thing for the gang to discover something amiss and to take it upon themselves to right a wrong. There has to be something in it for Team Tardis before they’ll meddle. Which is why none of these scenes by the notebook make any sense without that earlier scene in which the Doctor puts his foot down.
Ian reckons if they’re going to do anything at all they should stop the insecticide (a bit of dialogue that makes no sense without the aforementioned decision to meddle); as Susan points out, they only need a cure if someone’s infected. LIKE BARBARA. How has nobody spotted she’s ill yet? The Doctor reckons the more they know about their enemy, the better, so he gets Ian to mark out sections of the notebook with his feet while Barbara and Susan read what they see, so that the Doctor can write down what’s written there on a smaller scale. Just to reiterate: the Doctor is using Ian as a bookmark in this scene.
There’s some cut material in which they read out shit from the notebook followed by yet more cut switchboard shenanigans, and then the Doctor has the formula. Ian is rather sweet trying to understand it, but then admits that he’s reached his Sciency limit. It’s ok, hun, you don’t need to be a specialist in insecticides to teach O Level Chemistry. What is Ian’s specialism, anyway?
The Doctor takes over in layman’s terms: the inventor has made the insecticide EVERLASTING. Which, as Susan and Ian point out, means it’ll get into the soil and the water and stuff. Babs asks whether it’ll be fatal to humans; the Doctor says yes, in sufficient quantities. She asks whether that’s just from ingesting it, but the Doctor reckons that contact with the skin will also do it. SHIT. Ian rubs it in a bit, going on about it penetrating the skin and all that, and Babs, WHO HAS BEEN IN CONTACT WITH THE INSECTICIDE AND IS DYING, stamps her foot and demands why they’re all just sitting here.
Ian and Susan stare at her, and Susan at last asks whether she’s all right. Babara, FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO MAKE THE VIEWER TENSE (if we're talking about the broadcast version rather than the uncut version, at least) still doesn’t tell anyone she’s been in contact with the insecticide, but mentions she feels giddy and tells them some bullshit about just being hungry. The Doctor raises the issue of food (which they can’t eat) and Ian reckons the less they talk about food the happier he’ll be. Looks like someone is prone to hanger. Ian volunteers to go and fetch safe tap water for everyone, but the Doctor also wants to go in the direction of the sink on account of there being something over there that may be the answer to all their problems—A TELEPHONE. (Which will be useless to them on account of the sound thing he was explaining last week.)
A cut scene explains that the Doctor wonders whether the sound thing will be the same over a load of telephone wires. In another cut scene, they are all nearly choked by Smithers lighting a cigarette and blowing smoke all over them. Which would have been a cool thing to keep in an environmental serial.
The gang makes it to the telephone, and Babs and Susan have found a bung (or a cork?) from some of the Sciency equipment to prop up the receiver; Babs, looking knackered now, has been doing the heavy lifting. At last Ian seems to have noticed that all is not well with the now distinctly-out-of-breath Bae; possibly because the others are watching, she tells him not to make a fuss. And it’s adorable. Although…
…BARBARA. FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME. INFORMING YOUR COMPANIONS THAT YOU ARE DYING IS NOT MAKING A FUSS, IT IS GIVING THEM ENOUGH TIME TO PREVENT YOUR UNTIMELY DEMISE.
Ian is making his confused puppy face, but has clearly decided that maybe these are Lady Things that require his discretion and pulls himself together, and ‘tactfully’ suggesting that he and Susan do the climbing up to the telephone as he, the Doctor, and Susan pass the bung upwards; Babs sits at the foot of the telephone with her head in her hands. The Doctor, however, gives zero fucks, and merely asks Barbara (politely) whether she minds getting another one of the bungs; she nods and staggers off. He watches her go with some concern, and when Barbara returns, the Doctor observes that his dear looks very tired; she agrees, and he suggests she go and sit down for a bit. Which is considerate. But SERIOUSLY this is not like Barbara at all, so can someone please ask her whether she’s been in touch with anything deadly?
Once the bungs/corks are up at the top of the telephone, Ian calls the others up to give him a hand with his Atlas act, attempting to heave theworld receiver onto his shoulders. As Susan and the Doctor come up, the Doctor asks Ian whether he reckons the three of them can manage, seeing as Barbara doesn’t look quite up to it. I feel like I am forever bringing this up, but I do love that the Doctor now has her back completely, in contrast to his willingness to leave her to die in an alien city. Ian sounds disgruntled, saying they’ll try, but Barbara seems determined to overcompensate for DYING and scrambles over to help; she, Ian, and the Doctor lift up the receiver while Susan wedges a cork under it. They’re all knackered…AND NOW THE OTHER END! Barbara looks bloody shattered, but she’ll get no sympathy (ok, marginally less sympathy) from me because she’s still being stoical FOR NO GOOD REASON (in the broadcast version at least yadda yadda you get my point that cutting that earlier scene in which the Doctor takes a stand means that Barbara's motivation for this entire serial is a nonsense).
And OH SUCCESS! The switchboard has been alerted! Ian, Susan, and the Doctor bellow into the receiver very slowly, but ugh I don’t even have time to explain. The Doctor has forgotten his own lecture about how they’re probably audible only to dogs, and the whole thing is bloody pointless. Barbara listens to the unintelligible rumbling coming from the other end with an expression on her face that clearly states ‘FML’.
And then she collapses again. BARBARA, YOU ARE LITERALLY DYING. YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS. Who have not noticed that she has collapsed. Indeed, Ian is sulking: ‘We can’t have failed after trying so hard!’ he wails. The Doctor and Susan are resigned, but Ian is determined to try again and goes off to tell Barbara…who is still kneeling on the floor, shaving attempted to blow her nose with Ian’s handkerchief. Ian does not find this fucking weird but merely tells her she’s been overdoing things and offers to get her some water. He reaches for his handkerchief, and Babs goes all Gollum on him, becoming increasingly distressed as she insists that he mustn’t touch it, that no-one must touch it; she passes out.
Everyone crowds around, and the Doctor finally twigs, holding the handkerchief to his nose via some manner of stick and comments on the aroma of insecticide. WHICH CANNOT BE THAT DISTINCTIVE OR YOU WOULD HAVE REALISED BABS PROBABLY REEKS OF IT. The Doctor surmises she got insecticide on her hands, and Ian is hilariously indignant and defensive, seeing as she never told him and he never saw her do it; his entire attitude is essentially ‘DAAAAAD IT’S NOT MY FAULT’. And then the penny drops; she did borrow his handkerchief over by the seeds. Sheepish Ian is sheepish.
Susan asks whether they can do anything for her, and the Doctor muses in silence…ROLL CREDITS. Or not. Babs wakes, is informed she fainted, and mutters about the insecticide…FINALLY OH MY GOD. The Doctor chides her indulgently like an idiot child. Which is what she has indeed been this serial (blah blah if you cut that scene blah-de-blah). For which I will never forgive Louis Marks. Or at least the dunderhead who cut that scene.
As Babs chills with Susan by the phone, panicky Ian asks the Doctor what they can do; the Doctor says she has to get back to her normal size, at which point the insecticide will be 70x less dangerous.
I HAVE (slightly gross) QUESTIONS: even if it’s less dangerous, the inventor made it everlasting, so assuming she manages to…er…get it out of her system, I hope the Tardis waste disposal can deal with it, or else there will be a teeny-tiny amount of deadly insecticide in the Tardis water supply forever.
Anyway, they must get back to the ship; ‘what are we waiting for?’ asks Ian, grimly. He makes his way over to Babs and adopts his best bedside manner; Babs says she feels ‘a bit ropey’. I heart understatements. Anyway, they’ve got a long way to go, so best get moving. Ian asks the Doctor whether he can in fact get them back to normal size:
Brim-full of confidence, there, Doctor.
Meanwhile, Forester is having trouble with the phone, which is obv still off the hook. But enough of that.
We go back to the regulars and another scene that should never, ever have been cut because without it, nothing makes sense:
And apart from anything else, this scene is actually pretty good for what it is. Even the Doctor calling Barbara stupid (which would normally piss me off) actually works because a) it puts me in mind of the time Barbara yelled at him for being a stupid old man, setting the scene for another epic argument in which Babs challenges him to be a better person and b) because his initial knee-jerk reaction is one that is entirely based on fear, so he insults and belittles her, but then he actually listens to what she has to say and she convinces him of her point of view. The Doctor, Ian, and Susan are absolutely shitting themselves because they really don't want Barbara to die, but Babs digs her heels in like a pro and everyone's so in character it hurts. The way in which Ian reverts to paternalistic bullshit to mask his fear has never been more evident: the foot is down, but Barbara isn't having any of it, and BOY does she hit him where it hurts. He may be able to fireman's lift her out of the way of a giant fly, but he couldn't carry her back to the ship if he tried, and she categorically will not consent to it and refuses point blank to cooperate, making it perfectly clear that the only way she's going back to the ship is kicking and screaming. The sooner Ian realises that Barbara Wright has never done anything just because he said so, the happier he'll be.
Susan, meanwhile, is right on the money with her analysis: Barbara is important to them, and they're all being blinded by their immediate priority of not letting her die, which is 'all we can see or understand'; Susan is her own best therapist. But the best thing about this is Barbara and the Doctor, in a clear development of their conversation about not getting swept away with the tide of history in The Reign of Terror. Though I maintain that Barbara's willingness to sacrifice herself for the greater good marks the beginning of a bothersome trend that culminates in the whole Impossible Girl who was Born to Save the Doctor thing (which DOES MY HEAD IN), the first time this sort of thing happens on the show the fact that Barbara holds the Doctor to his own moral standards is a meaty consequence of her own actions (and her own realisation that there is something she is literally willing to die for). Her raison d'être isn't to give her life to allow the Doctor to become his best self because she thinks he's some sort of godlike entity, she just happens to change him for the better while she travels with him and learns about herself (through learning about others). And she absolutely floors him when he tells her he wouldn't let her die if there was a one in a million chance of preventing it and she tells him that none of this alters their responsibilities. Indeed, when Ian appeals to thePatriarchy Doctor to make Barbara see she's wrong (like that would ever work), it backfires spectacularly because what she does is make the Doctor see she's right.
I mean I'm still mad at this whole 'Barbara is dying but doesn't tell anyone' subplot, and as I say, putting Babs in danger specifically so the Team gets put into a 'save someone you love or save the world' dilemma is the thin end of a very problematic wedge, but with this scene in place at least Babs gets to spend a little more time having the moral high ground for her trouble. And at least it's her dilemma, too (rather than her fate being the Doctor's choice, as it so often is in later serials), in which she actually has her own agency after a fashion.
BUT THEY CUT ALL THAT, so what we get instead is Ian talking into Barbara’s face, telling her she’s ill and that they have to get her back to the ship. When Barbara appears to refuse, Ian appeals to the Doctor (again), who OH MY GOODNESS tells him there’s nothing he can say, dear boy, because Barbara’s quite right. Ian appeals to Susan, who breaks my heart again when she merely cuddles her stoic Space Mum. The camera focuses on Ian’s referred pain as Babs comes up behind him and tells him they must stop the baddies. And as broadcast, it makes zero fucking sense.
The butchery that has been done to this serial makes me hopping mad.
Meanwhile, Forester decides to try the other phone, while Smithers goes off to look at Farrow’s notes.
But enough of that! Because the Doctor has a plan, and that plan is…CAUSE TROUBLE. Start a fire, to be precise. Ian seems to think this will work, but wants to know if they’ll be able to start a really big one to do some real damage. Then this happens:
GLEEFUL ARSONIST DOCTOR IS THE BEST.
Ian asks Barbara for her opinion; she agrees it’ll attract people to the house, and OH MORBID SUSAN HOW I’VE MISSED YOU! For at this point our favourite little weirdo delightedly points out that someone will find the man’s body. Never change.
Smithers and Forester wander about outside a bit.
And OH Ian has had a brainwave! Which I’ll give him, seeing as how he teaches in a Science lab. If they can only turn on the gas tap…but oh no that’ll have to wait because NOISES OFF!
Enter the bad guys. Apparently you can see the dead cat prop in this bit, too.
As our heroes sneak about, the switchboard gets back in touch. During this time, apparently Smithers freaks out about the dead cat and no longer believes Forester’s bullshit, but all that got cut. Anyway, the switchboard lady (Hilda) asks to speak to Farrow, and Forester tries the same bullshit hanky trick again. Which fails to convince Hilda in any way, shape or form, as she gleefully tells Bert the policeman (who also happens to be present). Bert the policeman reckons he ought to go and see what’s up. Which means that Hilda at the switchboard pretty much alerted the world to the dodgy goings-on at the farmhouse and that Team Tardis could have just scarpered back to the Tardis to de-poison Barbara. But that’s not the point, is it?
Over at the gas tap, the Team is trying to turn it on. And OH HELLO MATCHBOX AND MATCHSTICK. Reusable props for the win. Ian has wedged the matchbox in place, and gets Susan to help him light the match by running at it. ‘Like a battering ram,’ enthuses Susan. I have missed this.
Meanwhile, the Doctor has managed to get a pressurised container in front of the gas tap, which he has to explain to Babs, who apparently can’t read the giant writing that says ‘highly flammable’ on the side. Then this happens:
LET ME LOVE YOU. Though if it really is going to be the equivalent of a thousand pound bomb to them surely they need to find a better way of avoiding the blast than hiding behind the gas tap.
And oh, Smithers has finally figured out that DN6 kills literally everything. Which he apparently didn’t realise while he was making the stuff. He is a terrible Scientist.
Meanwhile, the Doctor and Barbara are being armchair critics and Susan and Ian attempt to light the match. ‘CHARGE!’ cries Susan. But seriously, never change.
Success! The Doctor and Barbara cling with delight, presumably infecting the Doctor with insecticide from her riddled hands. Ian shouts a few instructions for adjusting the gas tap, tells Barbara and the Doctor to hide behind the tap, and he and Susan light the gas tap!
Elsewhere, Forester is confessing to Smithers. He also has his gun out. Nobody cares.
Meanwhile, the Doctor is tittering gleefully at the imminent explosion. As the gas tap blazes, the team huddles, and Ian warns Susan about metal flying everywhere; Susan is reminded of an air raid. According to the InfoText, this isn’t a reference to the Blitz but to WWI, where Germans used Zeppelins for air raids, which the Doctor terms ‘infernal machines’. Give me the Doctor and Susan in a WWI historical THIS INSTANT. Susan seems to think of this as a happy memory. Because that’s how Susan rolls.
As Smithers enters, protesting about DN6 being more deadly than radiation, we see what the soon-to-explode container is. Well bugger me if it isn’t a spray can of insecticide! Poetic justice! But also probably very dangerous to the time travellers if it’s going to be exploding everywhere. IN FORESTER’S FACE! LITERALLY! Is he blinded, or does he actually have DN6 all up in his eyeballs? Nobody cares. But Smithers has now got the gun…which is taken off him by Bert the Bobby from the switchboard. THE LAW HAS BEEN ALERTED, ALL IS WELL.
The Doctor sends everyone running back to the ship. Well, he gets Susan and Ian to drag Babs along at any rate. The Doctor also takes one of the giant Sugar Puffs with him under his cape. That'll be easy to get back to the Tardis. Then again, there's always gravity.
The Bobby tells Smithers to turn off the gas tap, and justice presumably takes its course.
Back in the Tardis (after what I’m going to guess was a long, difficult, and generally hellish journey during which one can only assume they just threw Barbara down the drainpipe and hoped for the best), there’s more cut stuff in which Ian fusses over Babs, and the Doctor has to repair the scanner before they get back to normal or else they’d be blind. Back to uncut stuff, the Doctor aims to replicate whatever happened when they landed. Or something timey-wimey like that. Ian asks whether there’s anything he can do; why yes, he can wrap that seed in the Doctor’s cloak and put it on the table where everyone can see for maximum theatricality.
Oh and apparently William Russell had the lurgy whilst filming this episode. Thanks, InfoText.
Babs is pretty-much unconscious in the chair as Susan stares at her inmorbid fascination concern. The lights go down, the Tardis dematerialises, and as Ian badgers the Doctor, the latter gleefully informs him that whatever it is is working! Joy! The seed on the table is shrinking! How does that make sense? I have no idea! But the seed is now teeny-tiny, and JOY OF JOYS Barbara is awake and in desperate need of a drink. Of water. Which she had no idea could taste so good. The Doctor delightedly pets Barbara’s face, as is the way of all Gallifreyans when confronted with pestilence. Ian is relieved; the Doctor bows theatrically. The Doctor recaps the plot for Barbara’s benefit and then sends everyone off for a good scrub.
Alone in the Tardis control room, the Doctor remembers the scanner is buggered and fusses over how irritating it is that they have no idea where they are. Maybe they’re…AT WORLD’S END!
WHERE HAVE OUR HEROES LANDED NOW? WILL THERE NOW BE DN6 IN THE TARDIS WATER SUPPLY FOREVER? WHAT ARE THE TARDIS SCRUBBING FACILITIES LIKE? CAN WE PLEASE NEVER MAKE BARBARA STUPID JUST SO WE CAN SPIN OUT A SERIAL EVER, EVER AGAIN (OR INDEED A PLOT DEVICE IN A MORAL DILEMMA, DEPENDING ON WHICH VERSION OF THIS EPISODE/THESE EPISODES YOU'RE WATCHING)? LIKEWISE IAN? WHY HAS NOBODY ADDRESSED THE FACT THAT THEY ACTUALLY MADE IT HOME BUT WERE THE WRONG SIZE APART FROM IN PASSING? IS THE SCANNER NOW PERMANENTLY BUST? WHAT HAPPENS TO SMI- ACTUALLY I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WERE THE CREATORS/ABUSERS OF DN6 EVER BROUGHT TO JUSTICE?
Summary (as applicable to this episode)
Is a woman 'spared' the ordeal of having to do/witness something unpleasant by a man who makes a decision on her behalf/keeps her deliberately ignorant? Nope, this week it's Babs not letting on.
Does a woman suffer in silence (to further the plot)? AND HOW.
Does a man automatically disbelieve or belittle something a woman (companion) says happened to her? No.
Does a man talk over a woman or talk about a woman as though she isn't there? A bit.
Is there past/future/alien sexism? It's the present day, so N/A.
Does a 'present'-day character call anybody out on past/future/alien sexism? N/A.
Does an past/future/alien person have the hots for a woman companion and is it reciprocated? N/A.
Well. As broadcast, this episode does my head in, because it makes very little sense and robs Babs of agency/believable motivation. They cut scenes that are crucial to Ian's character development, the Doctor's character development, and Barbara's character development, and I shall never forgive them. I remain irritated that Babs got infected with DN6 specifically to engineer a 'save the girl or save the world' dilemma, but with the cut scenes reinstated, we at least get to see pivotal moments in the history of the show: the first time the Team chooses to intervene for moral reasons rather than making getting out of Dodge their main priority;,the first time the Doctor takes a stand, and the first time a companion is willing to die for something bigger than themselves. And that something is not the Doctor's life, as is so often the case in New Who. The Doctor is delightful this week, as is his relationship with Babs, and I am delighted at the return of Morbid Susan. Next week...DALEKS!
We cut to a giant notebook that has chemistry things in it. Susan spots that it’s a formula, and Ian tells her she’s right. IAN, REMEMBER THAT THIS YOUNG WOMAN IS CLEVERER THAN YOU. Babs reckons that if it’s the formula for the insecticide, they might be able to find a cure. Ian is, however, almost aggressively dismissive: ‘A cure? What’s the good of that?’ Barbara, instead of taking this opportunity to mention that she is dying, plays it casual: ‘I dunno…’
 |
| Susan channels her inner Audrey Horne |
TELL THEM YOU ARE DYING, BARBARA, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT’S HOLY.
Going back to that cut scene for a moment, you do forget that in Classic Who in the very early days, it’s not just the normal thing for the gang to discover something amiss and to take it upon themselves to right a wrong. There has to be something in it for Team Tardis before they’ll meddle. Which is why none of these scenes by the notebook make any sense without that earlier scene in which the Doctor puts his foot down.
Ian reckons if they’re going to do anything at all they should stop the insecticide (a bit of dialogue that makes no sense without the aforementioned decision to meddle); as Susan points out, they only need a cure if someone’s infected. LIKE BARBARA. How has nobody spotted she’s ill yet? The Doctor reckons the more they know about their enemy, the better, so he gets Ian to mark out sections of the notebook with his feet while Barbara and Susan read what they see, so that the Doctor can write down what’s written there on a smaller scale. Just to reiterate: the Doctor is using Ian as a bookmark in this scene.
There’s some cut material in which they read out shit from the notebook followed by yet more cut switchboard shenanigans, and then the Doctor has the formula. Ian is rather sweet trying to understand it, but then admits that he’s reached his Sciency limit. It’s ok, hun, you don’t need to be a specialist in insecticides to teach O Level Chemistry. What is Ian’s specialism, anyway?
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| A less-than-captive audience |
The Doctor takes over in layman’s terms: the inventor has made the insecticide EVERLASTING. Which, as Susan and Ian point out, means it’ll get into the soil and the water and stuff. Babs asks whether it’ll be fatal to humans; the Doctor says yes, in sufficient quantities. She asks whether that’s just from ingesting it, but the Doctor reckons that contact with the skin will also do it. SHIT. Ian rubs it in a bit, going on about it penetrating the skin and all that, and Babs, WHO HAS BEEN IN CONTACT WITH THE INSECTICIDE AND IS DYING, stamps her foot and demands why they’re all just sitting here.
Ian and Susan stare at her, and Susan at last asks whether she’s all right. Babara, FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN TO MAKE THE VIEWER TENSE (if we're talking about the broadcast version rather than the uncut version, at least) still doesn’t tell anyone she’s been in contact with the insecticide, but mentions she feels giddy and tells them some bullshit about just being hungry. The Doctor raises the issue of food (which they can’t eat) and Ian reckons the less they talk about food the happier he’ll be. Looks like someone is prone to hanger. Ian volunteers to go and fetch safe tap water for everyone, but the Doctor also wants to go in the direction of the sink on account of there being something over there that may be the answer to all their problems—A TELEPHONE. (Which will be useless to them on account of the sound thing he was explaining last week.)
A cut scene explains that the Doctor wonders whether the sound thing will be the same over a load of telephone wires. In another cut scene, they are all nearly choked by Smithers lighting a cigarette and blowing smoke all over them. Which would have been a cool thing to keep in an environmental serial.
The gang makes it to the telephone, and Babs and Susan have found a bung (or a cork?) from some of the Sciency equipment to prop up the receiver; Babs, looking knackered now, has been doing the heavy lifting. At last Ian seems to have noticed that all is not well with the now distinctly-out-of-breath Bae; possibly because the others are watching, she tells him not to make a fuss. And it’s adorable. Although…
…BARBARA. FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME. INFORMING YOUR COMPANIONS THAT YOU ARE DYING IS NOT MAKING A FUSS, IT IS GIVING THEM ENOUGH TIME TO PREVENT YOUR UNTIMELY DEMISE.
Ian is making his confused puppy face, but has clearly decided that maybe these are Lady Things that require his discretion and pulls himself together, and ‘tactfully’ suggesting that he and Susan do the climbing up to the telephone as he, the Doctor, and Susan pass the bung upwards; Babs sits at the foot of the telephone with her head in her hands. The Doctor, however, gives zero fucks, and merely asks Barbara (politely) whether she minds getting another one of the bungs; she nods and staggers off. He watches her go with some concern, and when Barbara returns, the Doctor observes that his dear looks very tired; she agrees, and he suggests she go and sit down for a bit. Which is considerate. But SERIOUSLY this is not like Barbara at all, so can someone please ask her whether she’s been in touch with anything deadly?
Once the bungs/corks are up at the top of the telephone, Ian calls the others up to give him a hand with his Atlas act, attempting to heave the
And OH SUCCESS! The switchboard has been alerted! Ian, Susan, and the Doctor bellow into the receiver very slowly, but ugh I don’t even have time to explain. The Doctor has forgotten his own lecture about how they’re probably audible only to dogs, and the whole thing is bloody pointless. Barbara listens to the unintelligible rumbling coming from the other end with an expression on her face that clearly states ‘FML’.
And then she collapses again. BARBARA, YOU ARE LITERALLY DYING. YOU NEED TO TELL YOUR FRIENDS. Who have not noticed that she has collapsed. Indeed, Ian is sulking: ‘We can’t have failed after trying so hard!’ he wails. The Doctor and Susan are resigned, but Ian is determined to try again and goes off to tell Barbara…who is still kneeling on the floor, shaving attempted to blow her nose with Ian’s handkerchief. Ian does not find this fucking weird but merely tells her she’s been overdoing things and offers to get her some water. He reaches for his handkerchief, and Babs goes all Gollum on him, becoming increasingly distressed as she insists that he mustn’t touch it, that no-one must touch it; she passes out.
Everyone crowds around, and the Doctor finally twigs, holding the handkerchief to his nose via some manner of stick and comments on the aroma of insecticide. WHICH CANNOT BE THAT DISTINCTIVE OR YOU WOULD HAVE REALISED BABS PROBABLY REEKS OF IT. The Doctor surmises she got insecticide on her hands, and Ian is hilariously indignant and defensive, seeing as she never told him and he never saw her do it; his entire attitude is essentially ‘DAAAAAD IT’S NOT MY FAULT’. And then the penny drops; she did borrow his handkerchief over by the seeds. Sheepish Ian is sheepish.
Susan asks whether they can do anything for her, and the Doctor muses in silence…ROLL CREDITS. Or not. Babs wakes, is informed she fainted, and mutters about the insecticide…FINALLY OH MY GOD. The Doctor chides her indulgently like an idiot child. Which is what she has indeed been this serial (blah blah if you cut that scene blah-de-blah). For which I will never forgive Louis Marks. Or at least the dunderhead who cut that scene.
As Babs chills with Susan by the phone, panicky Ian asks the Doctor what they can do; the Doctor says she has to get back to her normal size, at which point the insecticide will be 70x less dangerous.
I HAVE (slightly gross) QUESTIONS: even if it’s less dangerous, the inventor made it everlasting, so assuming she manages to…er…get it out of her system, I hope the Tardis waste disposal can deal with it, or else there will be a teeny-tiny amount of deadly insecticide in the Tardis water supply forever.
Anyway, they must get back to the ship; ‘what are we waiting for?’ asks Ian, grimly. He makes his way over to Babs and adopts his best bedside manner; Babs says she feels ‘a bit ropey’. I heart understatements. Anyway, they’ve got a long way to go, so best get moving. Ian asks the Doctor whether he can in fact get them back to normal size:
Brim-full of confidence, there, Doctor.
Meanwhile, Forester is having trouble with the phone, which is obv still off the hook. But enough of that.
We go back to the regulars and another scene that should never, ever have been cut because without it, nothing makes sense:
Ian: Well, come on, Barbara!NYAAAAARGJSSPDOISLTKEUWKRJFHSDNJKJHSDHFSDJF WHY DID YOU CUT THIS YOU ARTLESS BASTARDS!?!?!?!?! The only—and I mean only—reason you can even begin to attempt to justify putting Babs through all that idiotic ‘secretly dying’ bullshit is by NOT CUTTING both this scene and the scene in which the Doctor picks his battles. With these scenes in place, of course the problem remains that she is being used as a plot device to a) rack up the dramatic tension and b) make the 'to intervene or not to intervene' dilemma personal. I mean, I think this is the first time 'save the girl or save the world' crops up in the show. However, what you also get is Actual Character Development that makes this entire serial crucial to the development of the show itself rather than an entertaining but otherwise pointless romp through various cool-looking sets.
Barbara: No, Ian, I won’t go any further.
Ian: Barbara! Don’t be ridiculous!
Doctor: Yes, you’re being stupid. Wasting time.
Susan: Come on, Barbara, please!
Barbara: No! For the last time, no! I’m not important any more, can’t you understand?
Susan: You’re important to us, Barbara.
Barbara: Will you listen? The amount I’ve got on my hands would be just a tiny speck to a normal human being, but suppose a full-sized person covered their hands with it? Aren’t they going to start feeling dizzy, start fainting and blacking out?
Susan: You won’t die. Barbara, we’re here with you now. That’s all we can see or understand.
Doctor: Yes, I couldn’t let it happen. Not if there was one chance in a million of stopping it.
Ian: Doctor, for heaven’s sake, make her see how wrong she is.
Barbara: You said yourself it was our duty to stop the destruction of a whole planet.
Doctor: Yes, I did, Barbara, but our immediate concern is you.
Barbara: Our responsibility hasn’t altered, Doctor.
Ian: The longer we stand here arguing, the greater hold that poison is going to get on you. We are taking you back to the ship, and that’s final.
Barbara: How? Carry me over your shoulder? All the way down the chain to the sink and then down the pipe to the outside of the house? You couldn’t. Even with my cooperation.
And apart from anything else, this scene is actually pretty good for what it is. Even the Doctor calling Barbara stupid (which would normally piss me off) actually works because a) it puts me in mind of the time Barbara yelled at him for being a stupid old man, setting the scene for another epic argument in which Babs challenges him to be a better person and b) because his initial knee-jerk reaction is one that is entirely based on fear, so he insults and belittles her, but then he actually listens to what she has to say and she convinces him of her point of view. The Doctor, Ian, and Susan are absolutely shitting themselves because they really don't want Barbara to die, but Babs digs her heels in like a pro and everyone's so in character it hurts. The way in which Ian reverts to paternalistic bullshit to mask his fear has never been more evident: the foot is down, but Barbara isn't having any of it, and BOY does she hit him where it hurts. He may be able to fireman's lift her out of the way of a giant fly, but he couldn't carry her back to the ship if he tried, and she categorically will not consent to it and refuses point blank to cooperate, making it perfectly clear that the only way she's going back to the ship is kicking and screaming. The sooner Ian realises that Barbara Wright has never done anything just because he said so, the happier he'll be.
Susan, meanwhile, is right on the money with her analysis: Barbara is important to them, and they're all being blinded by their immediate priority of not letting her die, which is 'all we can see or understand'; Susan is her own best therapist. But the best thing about this is Barbara and the Doctor, in a clear development of their conversation about not getting swept away with the tide of history in The Reign of Terror. Though I maintain that Barbara's willingness to sacrifice herself for the greater good marks the beginning of a bothersome trend that culminates in the whole Impossible Girl who was Born to Save the Doctor thing (which DOES MY HEAD IN), the first time this sort of thing happens on the show the fact that Barbara holds the Doctor to his own moral standards is a meaty consequence of her own actions (and her own realisation that there is something she is literally willing to die for). Her raison d'être isn't to give her life to allow the Doctor to become his best self because she thinks he's some sort of godlike entity, she just happens to change him for the better while she travels with him and learns about herself (through learning about others). And she absolutely floors him when he tells her he wouldn't let her die if there was a one in a million chance of preventing it and she tells him that none of this alters their responsibilities. Indeed, when Ian appeals to the
I mean I'm still mad at this whole 'Barbara is dying but doesn't tell anyone' subplot, and as I say, putting Babs in danger specifically so the Team gets put into a 'save someone you love or save the world' dilemma is the thin end of a very problematic wedge, but with this scene in place at least Babs gets to spend a little more time having the moral high ground for her trouble. And at least it's her dilemma, too (rather than her fate being the Doctor's choice, as it so often is in later serials), in which she actually has her own agency after a fashion.
BUT THEY CUT ALL THAT, so what we get instead is Ian talking into Barbara’s face, telling her she’s ill and that they have to get her back to the ship. When Barbara appears to refuse, Ian appeals to the Doctor (again), who OH MY GOODNESS tells him there’s nothing he can say, dear boy, because Barbara’s quite right. Ian appeals to Susan, who breaks my heart again when she merely cuddles her stoic Space Mum. The camera focuses on Ian’s referred pain as Babs comes up behind him and tells him they must stop the baddies. And as broadcast, it makes zero fucking sense.
The butchery that has been done to this serial makes me hopping mad.
Meanwhile, Forester decides to try the other phone, while Smithers goes off to look at Farrow’s notes.
But enough of that! Because the Doctor has a plan, and that plan is…CAUSE TROUBLE. Start a fire, to be precise. Ian seems to think this will work, but wants to know if they’ll be able to start a really big one to do some real damage. Then this happens:
GLEEFUL ARSONIST DOCTOR IS THE BEST.
Ian asks Barbara for her opinion; she agrees it’ll attract people to the house, and OH MORBID SUSAN HOW I’VE MISSED YOU! For at this point our favourite little weirdo delightedly points out that someone will find the man’s body. Never change.
Smithers and Forester wander about outside a bit.
And OH Ian has had a brainwave! Which I’ll give him, seeing as how he teaches in a Science lab. If they can only turn on the gas tap…but oh no that’ll have to wait because NOISES OFF!
Enter the bad guys. Apparently you can see the dead cat prop in this bit, too.
As our heroes sneak about, the switchboard gets back in touch. During this time, apparently Smithers freaks out about the dead cat and no longer believes Forester’s bullshit, but all that got cut. Anyway, the switchboard lady (Hilda) asks to speak to Farrow, and Forester tries the same bullshit hanky trick again. Which fails to convince Hilda in any way, shape or form, as she gleefully tells Bert the policeman (who also happens to be present). Bert the policeman reckons he ought to go and see what’s up. Which means that Hilda at the switchboard pretty much alerted the world to the dodgy goings-on at the farmhouse and that Team Tardis could have just scarpered back to the Tardis to de-poison Barbara. But that’s not the point, is it?
Over at the gas tap, the Team is trying to turn it on. And OH HELLO MATCHBOX AND MATCHSTICK. Reusable props for the win. Ian has wedged the matchbox in place, and gets Susan to help him light the match by running at it. ‘Like a battering ram,’ enthuses Susan. I have missed this.
Meanwhile, the Doctor has managed to get a pressurised container in front of the gas tap, which he has to explain to Babs, who apparently can’t read the giant writing that says ‘highly flammable’ on the side. Then this happens:
LET ME LOVE YOU. Though if it really is going to be the equivalent of a thousand pound bomb to them surely they need to find a better way of avoiding the blast than hiding behind the gas tap.
And oh, Smithers has finally figured out that DN6 kills literally everything. Which he apparently didn’t realise while he was making the stuff. He is a terrible Scientist.
Meanwhile, the Doctor and Barbara are being armchair critics and Susan and Ian attempt to light the match. ‘CHARGE!’ cries Susan. But seriously, never change.
Success! The Doctor and Barbara cling with delight, presumably infecting the Doctor with insecticide from her riddled hands. Ian shouts a few instructions for adjusting the gas tap, tells Barbara and the Doctor to hide behind the tap, and he and Susan light the gas tap!
Elsewhere, Forester is confessing to Smithers. He also has his gun out. Nobody cares.
Meanwhile, the Doctor is tittering gleefully at the imminent explosion. As the gas tap blazes, the team huddles, and Ian warns Susan about metal flying everywhere; Susan is reminded of an air raid. According to the InfoText, this isn’t a reference to the Blitz but to WWI, where Germans used Zeppelins for air raids, which the Doctor terms ‘infernal machines’. Give me the Doctor and Susan in a WWI historical THIS INSTANT. Susan seems to think of this as a happy memory. Because that’s how Susan rolls.
As Smithers enters, protesting about DN6 being more deadly than radiation, we see what the soon-to-explode container is. Well bugger me if it isn’t a spray can of insecticide! Poetic justice! But also probably very dangerous to the time travellers if it’s going to be exploding everywhere. IN FORESTER’S FACE! LITERALLY! Is he blinded, or does he actually have DN6 all up in his eyeballs? Nobody cares. But Smithers has now got the gun…which is taken off him by Bert the Bobby from the switchboard. THE LAW HAS BEEN ALERTED, ALL IS WELL.
The Doctor sends everyone running back to the ship. Well, he gets Susan and Ian to drag Babs along at any rate. The Doctor also takes one of the giant Sugar Puffs with him under his cape. That'll be easy to get back to the Tardis. Then again, there's always gravity.
The Bobby tells Smithers to turn off the gas tap, and justice presumably takes its course.
Back in the Tardis (after what I’m going to guess was a long, difficult, and generally hellish journey during which one can only assume they just threw Barbara down the drainpipe and hoped for the best), there’s more cut stuff in which Ian fusses over Babs, and the Doctor has to repair the scanner before they get back to normal or else they’d be blind. Back to uncut stuff, the Doctor aims to replicate whatever happened when they landed. Or something timey-wimey like that. Ian asks whether there’s anything he can do; why yes, he can wrap that seed in the Doctor’s cloak and put it on the table where everyone can see for maximum theatricality.
Oh and apparently William Russell had the lurgy whilst filming this episode. Thanks, InfoText.
Babs is pretty-much unconscious in the chair as Susan stares at her in
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| Gallifreyan nursing at its finest |
Alone in the Tardis control room, the Doctor remembers the scanner is buggered and fusses over how irritating it is that they have no idea where they are. Maybe they’re…AT WORLD’S END!
WHERE HAVE OUR HEROES LANDED NOW? WILL THERE NOW BE DN6 IN THE TARDIS WATER SUPPLY FOREVER? WHAT ARE THE TARDIS SCRUBBING FACILITIES LIKE? CAN WE PLEASE NEVER MAKE BARBARA STUPID JUST SO WE CAN SPIN OUT A SERIAL EVER, EVER AGAIN (OR INDEED A PLOT DEVICE IN A MORAL DILEMMA, DEPENDING ON WHICH VERSION OF THIS EPISODE/THESE EPISODES YOU'RE WATCHING)? LIKEWISE IAN? WHY HAS NOBODY ADDRESSED THE FACT THAT THEY ACTUALLY MADE IT HOME BUT WERE THE WRONG SIZE APART FROM IN PASSING? IS THE SCANNER NOW PERMANENTLY BUST? WHAT HAPPENS TO SMI- ACTUALLY I DON’T REALLY CARE BUT WERE THE CREATORS/ABUSERS OF DN6 EVER BROUGHT TO JUSTICE?
Summary (as applicable to this episode)
Does it pass the Bechdel test? Errrm...do Babs and Susan actually exchange words this week? I think not, actually. Or only in passing.
Is the gaze problematic? Nope.
Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads'? Nope. High necks and dungarees all round.
Save the girl or save the world? Whose decision is it? Save the world. Barbara's decision, backed up by the Doctor.
Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? See collapsing.
Does a woman wander off alone for the sole dramatic purpose of getting into trouble so she can be rescued later? Nope. Though Barbara getting poisoned is a variant thereof.
Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? No.
Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? Babs needs saving from poison.
Is a woman placed under threat of actual bodily harm? Yup. Babs is now dying.
Does a woman have to deal with a sexual predator? Nope.
Is/are the woman companion's/s' first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? No.
Does a woman faint at the sight of peril/horror or generally lose consciousness (discounting normal sleep)? Yes. Babs collapses.
Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? No.
Is the gaze problematic? Nope.
Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads'? Nope. High necks and dungarees all round.
Save the girl or save the world? Whose decision is it? Save the world. Barbara's decision, backed up by the Doctor.
Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? See collapsing.
Does a woman wander off alone for the sole dramatic purpose of getting into trouble so she can be rescued later? Nope. Though Barbara getting poisoned is a variant thereof.
Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? No.
Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? Babs needs saving from poison.
Is a woman placed under threat of actual bodily harm? Yup. Babs is now dying.
Does a woman have to deal with a sexual predator? Nope.
Is/are the woman companion's/s' first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? No.
Does a woman faint at the sight of peril/horror or generally lose consciousness (discounting normal sleep)? Yes. Babs collapses.
Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? No.
Is a woman 'spared' the ordeal of having to do/witness something unpleasant by a man who makes a decision on her behalf/keeps her deliberately ignorant? Nope, this week it's Babs not letting on.
Does a woman suffer in silence (to further the plot)? AND HOW.
Does a man automatically disbelieve or belittle something a woman (companion) says happened to her? No.
Does a man talk over a woman or talk about a woman as though she isn't there? A bit.
Does the woman companion have to be calmed/comforted by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? Ish.
Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode's antagonist(s)? Yup.
Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? No.
Does the woman companion come up with a plan? No. Though Babs does dig her heels in about the Doctor's plan. And the arson is Ian's doing/the Doctor's brainchild.
Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? No.
Does a woman come up with a theory and is it ridiculed by the Doctor/a man? No.
Does a woman call the Doctor out on his bullshit? Babs yells him down over sticking to his responsibilities.
Does a woman get to be a badass? Babs.
Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? Yes and no...the Doctor has the final word, but Ian is mostly floundering and Babs is the one who insists the remain to help.
Is there past/future/alien sexism? It's the present day, so N/A.
Does a 'present'-day character call anybody out on past/future/alien sexism? N/A.
Does an past/future/alien person have the hots for a woman companion and is it reciprocated? N/A.
Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.
VerdictWell. As broadcast, this episode does my head in, because it makes very little sense and robs Babs of agency/believable motivation. They cut scenes that are crucial to Ian's character development, the Doctor's character development, and Barbara's character development, and I shall never forgive them. I remain irritated that Babs got infected with DN6 specifically to engineer a 'save the girl or save the world' dilemma, but with the cut scenes reinstated, we at least get to see pivotal moments in the history of the show: the first time the Team chooses to intervene for moral reasons rather than making getting out of Dodge their main priority;,the first time the Doctor takes a stand, and the first time a companion is willing to die for something bigger than themselves. And that something is not the Doctor's life, as is so often the case in New Who. The Doctor is delightful this week, as is his relationship with Babs, and I am delighted at the return of Morbid Susan. Next week...DALEKS!
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