Series 1 Episode 36: A Desperate Venture

Serial: The Sensorites
Episode: 6 (A Desperate Venture)
Doctor: William Hartnell
Companions: Barbara, Ian, and Susan

Writer: Peter R. Newman
Director: Frank Cox
Producer: Verity Lambert
Original Air Date: 01/08/1964

Susan ForeDONE (and other stories)

In which Babs returns, Susan gets to stretch her telepathic legs a bit, and the Space Bros enjoy a brief stint as the Chuckle Brothers.

Finally, we arrive at the end of this desperate venture, fitting called ‘A  Desperate Venture’. Carol has been abducted by the New Second Elder and his Engineer henchman and she doesn’t know why. She is a bit magnificent, actually; they tell her to write a letter to ‘the man John’ and she replies stoutly ‘I certainly will not!’. The NSE tells Carol her party is divided, which apparently convinces her that she has to do what he says? Anyway, he tells her to write a letter saying she’s gone up to the spaceship. Otherwise the NSE will kill her. Apparently this will guarantee the success of all the NSE’s plans...because of reasons. Carol hands the NSE the note…which is spectacularly brief.

We cut to the letter being held by a different pair of hands altogether, and OH GLORY OF GLORIES IT’S BARBARA! BARBARA’S BACK! I AM INCOHERENT WITH JOY AT THIS SUDDEN INJECTION OF NO-NONSENSENESS INTO THE STORY. NEVER LEAVE AGAIN.

And she’s straight back on the case, inferring that whoever made Carol write the note had no idea she was coming down from the spaceship or they would’ve known Team Defiance (for this is what I shall call Barbara, Susan, and John, in honour of their time spent together in spaceship corridors) wouldn’t fall for the story. Anyway, Susan suspects the City Administrator, while John can’t work out why anyone would kidnap Carol. Then this happens:

BARBARA: I should think the why is fairly obvious, wouldn't you?
JOHN: No I don't think it is Barbara. We're on good terms with the first Elder, the Doctor's discovered an antidote for the poison and now he and Ian are tracking down the cause of the trouble.
BARBARA: Look, I've been away in the ship, so maybe I can see things more clearly, and I think we're being used by one of the Sensorites who wants to gain power.
SUSAN: You mean we're not just being attacked because we're from other planets?
BARBARA: No.

I have to admit I’m still in the dark as to the City Administrator’s (the New Second Elder’s) motives in kidnapping Carol and had to do a bit of Googling until I found the novelisation where Barbara elaborates and suggests that there might be a ransom note on the way or Carol might be used as a means of discrediting the humans and proving they’re the ones poisoning the water. However, she remains gloriously on the ball and I enjoy that she’s using the fact that she can see the bigger picture to try to make her companions see that this is about power and not just about xenophobia.

Enter the First Elder, who immediately seems to realise he’s talking to the boss, and tells Babs he had her brought down to the Sense Sphere because her friends expressed so much concern for her. Damn right. Anyway, Babs doesn’t hang about and asks the First Elder for help, seeing as how the Doctor and Ian are missing. The First Elder is reluctant to spill the beans, and stalls by marvelling at that quality of human beings that is concern for one another’s wellbeing, before letting on that he was asked not to let Susan know where the two men went. Susan has the following response:

Susan Foreman is done with your shit.

Babs shows him the letter, and John gets frustrated when the First Elder doesn’t believe a Sensorite could’ve kidnapped Carol; he gets shouty and is immediately chided for raising his voice by Babs. I have missed this. Susan points out that she smudged the ink with her thumb when she was given the letter, meaning it was still wet and therefore very recently-written when it was delivered, so Carol has to be nearby. The best bet seems to be the disintegrator room. Then the First Elder tells Team Defiance that the Space Bros have gone to the aqueduct; Susan is horrified and exasperated in equal measure, and I’m enjoying her general vibe of ‘my grandfather is such a fucking idiot’ in this scene. The First Elder tells them the Space Bros went with light and weapons and so can be in no danger. Famous last words.

And oh look, the Doctor and Ian have indeed discovered that their weapons are useless and that someone has been ‘jiggering around’ (an ad lib, apparently) with the map, plus they have no food and the water’s got deadly nightshade in it. A charming outlook indeed.

Meanwhile, Carol is hungry and thirsty and captured and pissed off about it. The Engineer stands around being racist for a bit while John opens the door behind his back and jumps him…but misses! The engineer grabs some sort of…I have no idea what it is, but it’s attached to a wire and if it touches Carol she dies, so obv John has to stop in his tracks. Then Carol—magnificent Carol—takes advantage of the Engineer’s racist gloating and PULLS THE PLUG OUT! Things start smoking, and John yells and the Engineer has to drop his whateveritis, and a warrior comes in to re-arrest the flown jailbird that is the Engineer. Carol and John hug.

Back in the palace thing, the First Elder and the City Administrator/Second Elder are talking about how terrible the Engineer is for being a horrible kidnapping criminal; subtly, the CA/SE asks whether he’s named his accomplice yet; he hasn’t. Luckily for him. Enter Susan and Barbara, just as the First Elder exclaims that if there’s one thing he can’t stand it’s accusation without clear proof, which the CA/SE reiterates pointedly; looks like Team Defiance will have to find some.

Anyway, Babs and Susan have apparently been interrogating the Engineer (!) and have ascertained that the Doctor and Ian have been sent off with duff maps and duff weapons; the First Elder assures them that the Sensorite responsible will die for this outrage and again responds to a practical crisis by getting all Emo about it…which goes down like a lead balloon with Babs in particular:

The CA/SE is scandalised by what he deems to be Barbara’s insolence, but Barbara gives zero fucks, telling the First Elder to figure out who his friends are and save them. I may just be reading into the faces of others my own happiness that Babs is back and kicking ass, but I love the fact that, at the point where the First Elder goes off on his Emo tangent, Susan automatically looks to Babs to get shit sorted. I adore these two.

This is basically the Golden Rule of Who.

Anyway, as you may have noticed, the First Elder doesn’t have a plan, so Babs comes up with one: get a proper map and find the Space Bros themselves with as much help as the First Elder can give; the CA/SE bangs on about his suspicions, the two women pull the most glorious faces, and then the First Elder, reasoning that the Doctor (to whom he refers as a human being) has put his life in danger for the Sensorite nation, so he’ll help as much as he can. Sorted.

Back in the aqueduct, Ian is tempting fate by observing that whatever’s out there hasn’t attacked them yet…at which point the beastly moaning starts up again. The Doctor tells Ian ‘courage, my boy—both hands’, which is perplexing, but hey Ian seems to dig it. Ian spots something moving slightly up ahead of them, at which point one of my favourite things in the episode occurs: the Doctor rolls up the map like a baton and hands it to Ian in what I can only assume is an attempt to arm his Space Bro, and he looks stupidly pleased with himself and I’m just dying. What the flying flange do you expect Ian to do with a rolled-up paper, Doctor? Swat some bluebottles? Use it as a telescope to see ahead? Use it to poke things? I have no idea. But bless him, he goes for it.

And oh it seems to work sort of because a raggedy guy emerges from the darkness, grabbing at Ian (or rather the outstretched map); they grapple and the man gets away. But ooh look! Ian’s grabbed a badge off his attacker—a badge which reads ‘INEER’ but which Billy reads as ‘INNER’, and which presumably refers to the rank of ‘ENGINEER’ ; they’re some of the surviving humans from the exploding spaceship! And they’ve been poisoning the water! Why? Ian may ask but the Doctor doesn’t know, so they’re away to ask the trampy engineer.

Meanwhile, back in the city, Babs is looking at a model city and has come up with a plan:

BARBARA: Tell me, can I use one of your mind-transmitters?
FIRST-ELDER: You have my permission to try. But how will it help you?

Oh my god the look Susan gives her is fantastic.

Me too, Susan.

Because of course Babs knows Susan’s a budding telepath and Susan is clearly itching to stretch herself a bit and she can see where this is going.

So Barbara’s plan is that she and John will go to look for Ian and the Doctor while Susan gives them telepathic instructions from the map room and guides them out! Brilliant! Susan doesn’t need a transmitter because she’s super gifted and all that, but Babs does, so they give it a test run and they’re both ever-so pleased with themselves when it works. There being no time like the present, Babs hops to it, pausing only to tell the First Elder to make sure there’s a trustworthy warrior left with her girl. And Carol’s going to help Susan, too! GO TEAM DEFIANCE!

And it seems I’m not the only one gushing over Babs this week, as the First Elder seems rather taken with her, too:

FIRST-ELDER: A very capable human being.
SUSAN: Yes, she is.
FIRST-ELDER: Gentle, yet with strong determination and courage.

Susan’s fierce pride in her friend is everything.

She and the First Elder talk about the wisdom of trusting implicitly for a bit, which is a bit sad as Susan at her age shouldn’t be the one saying impossibly tragic things like responding to the First Elder’s statement that the Sensorite’s whole way of life is based on trust by worrying that it might be their ‘downfall’. And when the First Sensorite muses that he and his people clearly have much to learn from the people of Earth, something unutterably gorgeous happens: Susan talks about her home.

Gifs by cleowho

EXCEPT YOU WON'T, SUSAN. *SOB*

It has only just occurred to me, what with this description being echoed in Gridlock, how much like his granddaughter Ten is. And that gives me all the feels. Also I just listened to ‘This Is Gallifrey: Our Childhood, Our Home’ for the first time in years and for the love of all that’s holy how long will it take for the Doctor to talk about Susan in any great detail in Capaldi-era Who?

Anyway, back to business: the Doctor is vandalising the set so that he and Ian won’t end up going round in circles, and the Doctor seems highly amused at the thought that the humans might be preparing an ambush:

Gifs by cleowho

Indeed he’s happy as a pig in shite, and is so merry burbling away about collecting evidence, calculating it, and pursuing to its inevitable end that he totally ignores the very important thing Ian is trying to tell him, which is that a beard guy with a sharpened stake is advancing on them from Ian’s end of the tunnel…that is until the Doctor spots a guy with a sharpened stake facing him at his end of the tunnel. A delightful bit of business follows, where the Doctor and Ian are clearly unaware that they are each facing an opponent and try to back up the passage so they can jump out at them…but of course they just back into one another and realise they’re surrounded. I laughed out loud. Their best bet is now to embrace this ambush situation and not do anything to alarm them. So they try to stay chill.

The stake-wielding tramps back them into some pipes and rasp that they’ve come at last; the Doctor improvs wildly and tells them that he and Ian came to find them; Ian plays along. The humans want to know whether the Sensorites are dead and whether the Space Bros have a spaceship; the Space Bros assure them that the latter at least is the case, assure them that they are alone, and wonder whether the trampy guys might want to pop out for a bit of sunshine; the trampy guys take the Space Bros to their leader.

Chesterchucklevision

Elsewhere in the tunnels, Babs is using the transmitter to speak to Susan but is a little indistinct; Carol suggests—in a neat budget-saving trick—that both women speak the words as they think them to make them clearer, which of course means no voiceovers and the like. Babs relays the directions to John and he leads them through the tunnels.

Meanwhile, the Space Bros are being marched to meet the leader of the Trampy Humans at stakepoint, and again have to swear they’re alone.

Except they’re not, because now Babara and The Man John (as the Sensorites call him) have spotted Ian’s scrunched-up fly-swatter and conjecture that the Space Bros chucked it once they realised it was all jiggered up; they decide to keep it because, as Babs points out, they need the tampered-with map as evidence against the CA/SE.

As the Space Bros are driven deeper into the caves, Susan keeps Carol and the First Elder abreast of the situation as Babs gets in touch to tell her she and John have found the Doctor’s trail of wanton set vandalism. So instead of Susan directing them, now Babs and Susan will be telling Susan where they’re going so Susan can keep track of them on the map. And it seems the Doctor is continuing to make the marks ‘in case we have to make a run for it, my dear boy’:

Gif by cleowho

Why is everyone so endearing this week?

Everyone in the map room is trying to work out what’s happened to Ian and the Doctor (with more finger-crossing from Susan), but we don’t have to wonder because we can see: they’re now meeting the Commander of the Beardy Colonials and he is both Colonial in accent and beardy of face (and looks a bit like Jeremy Irons). He’s also crazy and convinced he’s at war with the Sensorites. And it looks like we’ve found the poisoners.

Anyway, the Doctor and Ian are improvising like hell; the Doctor tells him the ‘war’ with the Sensorites is over; when the Commander asks whether the planet is now theirs completely, Ian assures them that it is so. So much smile-and-nod. The Commander goes on to tell the Space Bros about how he used to have a spaceship but two of his men deserted and pretended they had to go back to Earth for reinforcements so he blew up the spaceship, but he can get another one now because the planet is rich so he’ll be rich and yeah he’s completely bonkers.

But uh-oh, Ian’s let on he knows about the Molybdenum which makes the Commander jumpy and fighty, and to make things worse Babs and John (well, unspecified intruders) have been detected, which sends the Commander into a spiral of paranoia. He accuses them of being spies and is about to court martial them or something, but Ian cares less about this than the sudden appearance of none other than the Bestie herself! So sorry about that, Commander, but there’s very little in time or space can get in the way of their periodic reunions.

And oh glory, the Doctor is improvising again, telling the Beardy Colonials that the two extra humans are part of the welcoming committee; Barbara tries to elbow Ian and asks what’s going on, at which he rather hilariously mutters ‘play it cool’. Babs takes it in her stride, obv, and Ian tells them Barbara is their navigator who’s going to lead them back. Good save. Everyone moves out.

At the entrance to the aqueduct, the Sensorite warriors are lying in wait, and the humans are indeed apprehended. The Commander, however, does not come quietly but yells about treachery and is subsequently stunned by one of the Sensorites, who claims the moral high ground by not killing him. Right on. The Doctor reckons this shows great promise for the Sensorites’ future. Patronising sod.

Back at the palace, Barbara and Ian are tying up a few loose ends with the First Elder: Captain Maitland (where the hell has he been for the past three episodes?) is taking the stray humans home in his spaceship, the Second Elder is being banished to the outer wastes on the strength of the evidence of the jiggered map, and the humans probably mucked about with the transmitters or opened their minds until they went crazy and were left only with ‘the game they played—the game of war’. Very profound. But people died. Things that were not resolved include how the humans faked that beastie in the tunnels and mangled the Doctor’s frockcoat, but who cares, because the lock is back in the Tardis and they’re ready for off.

Back in the Tardis, Susan is sulking because she won’t be able to use telepathy away from the super-high frequencies or whatever it is on the Sense Sphere. Poor Susan. It was fun while it lasted. The Doctor, however, after an initial quip about nobody liking an eavesdropper, seems to have left his earlier douchebaggery behind and is actually being supportive for a change:

DOCTOR: I think you obviously have a gift in that direction and when we get home to our own place I think we should try and perfect it, mm?
SUSAN: When will we get back Grandfather?
DOCTOR: I don't know my dear, this old ship of mine seems to be an aimless thing. However, we don't worry about it do we? Do you?
SUSAN: Sometimes I feel I'd like to belong somewhere; not just be a wanderer...Still, I'm not unhappy.
DOCTOR: Good, good.

ONE DAY. ONE DAY WE SHALL KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO THESE TWO.

Enter Babs and Ian, and the four of them watch Maitland et al take off in their ship. Ian wrecks the moment by making a quip about how the Doctor doesn’t know where the hell he’s going, which provokes a startling reaction from the Doctor: he flips out and tells Ian that if he’s so dissatisfied he can get the hell off his ship at the very next place they land. WOW, who shat in your porridge, Doctor? You literally just called your own ship aimless.

IS THE DOCTOR SERIOUS? WILL OUR HUMANS BE DUMPED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE/NOWHEN BECAUSE THE DOCTOR LOST HIS TEMPER? WHY DID HE LOSE HIS TEMPER SO ABRUPTLY? IS THIS BECAUSE HE’S DECIDED HE WANTS TO GO BACK TO GALLIFREY WITH SUSAN SO HE NEEDS TO GET RID OF THE HUMANS SHARPISH? WHY IS MY SPACE FAMILY FALLING APART? WHERE WILL THEY LAND NEXT?

Summary (as applicable to this episode)

Does it pass the Bechdel test? With flying colours.

Is the gaze problematic? A bit lingering on Carol's kidnap face.

Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads'? No.

Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? No.

Does a woman wander off alone for the sole dramatic purpose of getting into trouble so she can be rescued later? Carol. Though as has been pointed out, the Doctor and Ian seem to have wandered off mostly so they can be rescued by the women and John. Though the main dramatic purpose of their desperate venture is meeting the poison colonials.

Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? Carol.

Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? John gets pretty macho about rescuing Carol despite the fact that it's the women who work out she has to be nearby and Carol herself who pulls the plug on the laser with which she's about to be murdered, effectively saving herself from electric death only to stand around waiting for John to come and give her a cuddle.

Is a woman placed under threat of actual bodily harm? Yup.

Is/are the woman companion's/s' first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? No.

Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? No.

Is a woman 'spared' the ordeal of having to do/witness something unpleasant by a man who makes a decision on her behalf/keeps her deliberately ignorant? YES. And Susan is suitably exasperated.

Does a man automatically disbelieve or belittle something a woman (companion) says happened to her? No.

Does a man talk over a woman or talk about a woman as though she isn't there? Not that I can recall.

Does the woman companion have to be calmed/comforted by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? Carol needs a hug. Understandably.

Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode's antagonist(s)? Carol. The Doctor and Ian get poked with sticks a bit, though.

Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? No.

Does the woman companion come up with a plan? YES. Barbara's plan with the though transference navigation is a cracker.

Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? No.

Does a woman come up with a theory and is it ridiculed by the Doctor/a man? No.

Does a woman call the Doctor out on his bullshit? Not to his face, but Susan is pretty done with it this week.

Does a woman get to be a badass? Yes. Many women in many ways.

Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? I'd say Barbara is pretty on it this week.

Is there past/future/alien sexism? Not especially.

Does a 'present'-day character call anybody out on past/future/alien sexism? No.

Does an past/future/alien person have the hots for a woman companion and is it reciprocated? The First Elder seems pretty taken with Babs, but in an emo way rather than a pervy way.

Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.

Verdict

Barbara is back and all is right with the world. She gets to come up with an excellent plan, play with thought transference, and rescue the errant Space Bros from being lost in the dark with crazy colonial types. Even better, her return doesn't mean Susan gets sidelined but rather ensures that she gets lots of interesting stuff to do. However, it's enormously rubbish that Susan won't get to continue being a telepath after this week. No wonder Carole Ann Ford left. I also love that she gets to talk about Gallifrey and that her description here is carried forwards into New Who. As I mentioned earlier, I've had something of an epiphany this week as to how like his granddaughter Ten is, which makes me feel things. The Doctor and Ian get to have a bit of fun wandering about with rolled-up maps for weapons, and the Doctor finally gets to be supportive of Susan, though it does smack a little of placating her with promises of letting her fulfil her telepathic potential when they get home seeing as they will probably definitely never get home. Let's hope Susan gets lots of interesting stuff to do in the next historical to compensate for her loss of thought transference and doesn't end up being sidelined with a migraine for several episodes...

Series 1 Episode 35: Kidnap

Serial: The Sensorites
Episode: 5 (Kidnap)
Doctor: William Hartnell
Companions: Barbara, Ian, and Susan

Writer: Peter R. Newman
Director: Frank Cox
Producer: Verity Lambert
Original Air Date: 25/07/1964

EN ATTENDANT BARBARA (and other stories)

In which everyone abandons all pretence and just wants to know when Barbara's coming back. Or maybe that's just me.

Right, so just one more Barbaraless episode to go and then oh god why was this ever a six-parter? I’m enjoying it, but there’s a fuckload of filler and I seem incapable of skipping over it.

Anyway, the Doctor is being bellowed at by an unseen menace, and it looks like Susan and Ian can hear it, too, wherever they are in the aqueduct system. Susan does the thing where women ask Ian what a noise/creature/thing is when he’s the least qualified person in the room, and obviously he hasn’t a Scooby. She checks that the recently-poisoned Ian is ok, tells him to lean on her, then bolts when she hears the Doctor yelling at something or someone to keep away.

I may or may not have increased the speed of this gif.

They arrive on the scene to find the Doctor on the floor with his coat in shreds. Ian seems to be back to normal because he’s ordering Susan to gather up the Doctor’s bits and pieces and dragging the Doctor to his feet. Susan spots a mystery object in amongst the pipes (a hole in the wall or some sort) and is curious about it so it can be significant later; Ian thinks they should get the hell out of Dodge.

Back in the city, Carol is giving the Sensorites a hard time about leaving Team Where’s Barbara Already in the lurch. They distract her with talk of her almost de-deranged fiancé John, who’s getting his final treatment done at the Brain Salon, and encourage her to think of the friend she’s about to regain rather than the ones she’s just lost. ‘Those poor people’, she murmurs.

At the entrance to the aqueduct, Team Where’s Barbara Already are mourning the loss of the Doctor’s coat and remarking on how weird it is that the claw marks didn’t reach the Doctor’s skin. Apparently something hit him under the heart(s?) and whatever it was was invisible and it was most unpleasant and thank chuff he gave them the antidote or he’d have been a goner. Which brings us neatly to the topic of Susan and Ian not having received the antidote, leading them to the conclusion that they’ve an enemy among the Sensorites—that’s two separate enemies! How concerning. And OH WHAT’S THIS? A Sensorite has just popped up behind them, and has apparently been spying on the gang!

So spy. Much stealth.

Back in the Brain Salon, John is still muttering about treachery and plots and wants to warn them but can’t quite manage it. The medical guy says John has to be delusional:

SCIENTIST: It must be illusion. Our society is based upon trust; treason or secret plotting is impossible.
CAROL: That's rather a sweeping statement.
SCIENTIST: But why should a Sensorite make any secret plans against anyone? We have the perfect society, all are contented.
CAROL: Some people always want more than others.
SCIENTIST: That is a human quality, surely.
CAROL: Perhaps!

Ooh, that’s juicy! And indeed Orwellian. Also Carol is great and this kind of discussion in Sci-Fi is also great.

Anyway, Carol composes herself and asks the Sensorite to carry on with his explanation of brain-related things, which a) just to be safe I’m going to preface with a Mental Health CW just because it’s pretty evocative to me at least and b) I’m pretty sure I’ve seen in various YA novels from my youth; in fact I can tell you exactly it was in a book I read as a teen (which was in the downstairs loo for about 15 years) called Song Quest, where there were these five songs sung for different magical purposes and the Death Song could be used in small doses to make you forget by closing doors in your head. Fun facts abound.

SCIENTIST: We discovered long ago that in our brains there were many different compartments. When fear and alarm is at work, that section becomes open, a veil is lifted, do you understand.
CAROL: Yes.
SCIENTIST: That is what has happened to the man John, but the veil will not lower itself. Thus he is constantly afraid, even when he's at peace. When he's asleep for example; the body says one thing, the brain the other - thus his condition. Utter confusion.
CAROL: And this treatment you're giving him is in order to close down that veil?
SCIENTIST: Yes. Not permanently of course, or he would step into danger without concern, the veil must function normally again.
CAROL: It's rather like an eyelid isn't it? Oh, these shutters over my eyes.
SCIENTIST: Hah, yes. To see all the time is not a good thing.

But really this is excellent stuff.

Anyway, back in the City Administrator’s lair, the Engineer is telling all about having seen the Doctor and pals emerging from the aqueduct entrance. Which is alarming for the CA, especially as John’s nearly cured and can speak against him. After a bit of floridly xenophobic dialogue, the CA tells the Second Elder (whose sash he’s stolen, remember) to contact the Senior Warrior with his mind transmitter and get him to bring along the firing key of the disintegrator…or else his family group gets it. The Second Elder does as he’s told. Once the CA has left, the SE asks the Engineer why he follows the CA, and is told the CA ‘will not betray our people or surrender our planet’; it’s beginning to sound distinctly Trumpy now.

Back in the city, it’s the recently-mauled Doctor who’s now dragging Ian along:

DOCTOR: Well you've been exerting yourself boy, naturally you're weak.
SUSAN: He can rest now can't he Grandfather? We'll force him to.
IAN: I wish you two'd stop fussing over me.
DOCTOR: Now, now, now, you must do as you are told and that is that!

The giddy zeal with which the two Gallifreyans are concerning themselves with the health of their pet human is almost endearingly violent.

Enter the CA ‘disguised’ as the Second Elder; the Doctor runs after him. At this point, Ian starts wondering how Barbara’s getting on:

SUSAN: It's a funny place down here isn't it?
IAN: What about up there? I wonder how Barbara's getting on?
SUSAN: Mm, I wish she were down here with us.
IAN: I wish we were up there in the TARDIS and away from here. Still, I know what you mean.

Then this happens:

YES PLEASE CAN WE HAVE BARBARA BACK NOW?

The Doctor comes back laughing about how the Second Elder ran away from him, and Susan makes a racist joke about their comically floopy feet. As a viewer, of course she’s entirely right, but if we’re assuming that in their world it’s not a stupid costume, Bad Susan. The Doctor assures her he was ‘very mobile’.

Back in the City Administrator’s lair, he has the firing key, which leads him to exclaim ‘NOW I HAVE THE POWER!’, which is…yeah. Just as the CA is about to use the firing key to get the disintegrator working (and presumably kill all the humans), the Second Elder jumps up, grabs the key, and bends it in half; the Engineer punches him to the ground AND KILLS HIM, but it’s too late—they key is beyond repair. What will they do to avoid punishment? Nobody cares.

Back with the First Elder, the gang is discussing the weirdness of the Second Elder’s actions. It’s been discovered that said SE (who is really the CA) blocked the antidote; the First Elder can’t and won’t believe he’s guilty. Someone arrives with a cloak for the Doctor, who has spare coats in the Tardis but who has been told by Beau Brummel that he looks better in a cloak. Such a namedropper.

Gifs by cleowho.

Enter the City Administrator in his own collar this time with urgent news: the Second Elder has been murdered and it was the Doctor wot dunnit! Susan immediately leaps up and yells that it’s not true, but the Doctor pulls her back down while the assembled Sensorites give evidence against him. The Engineer concludes by saying he saw the Doctor take an object from inside his coat and use it to kill the Second Elder.

Ian, clearly bored, or acting on a look from the Doctor, takes on the Defence. And is much better at it than the Doctor was on Marinus in his defence. He asks how the Engineer knows the Doctor: the Engineer replies that he knows him by his hair and his coat; Ian asks if he’s sure it was his coat; when the Engineer says he’s sure, the Doctor stands up and flourishes his cloak like the Drama Lord he is. Well-played, Space Bros. The Engineer backtracks and says he was sure it was a actually a cloak; the First Elder tells the Engineer he’s only just presented it to the Doctor. BUSTED.

As the Engineer is taken away, the CA seems undeterred and rolls with his change of fortunes by heaping blame upon the Second Elder; Susan reckons it was the Second Elder who was in fact their enemy. The First Elder needs to appoint a new Second Elder, and the CA happens to have the sash handy; Team Where’s Barbara Already think they’re awfully clever when the reckon that if the CA thinks he got a promotion because of them, he’d be a useful ally, and immediately recommend him for office; the Doctor proceeds to nominate the CA. It is done, and the CA is now the Second Elder.

Team Where’s Barbara Already goes out, buoyantly; Susan reminds Ian he was going to ask about Barbara; Ian reckons it’s not quite the right moment. IT IS EXACTLY THE RIGHT MOMENT, IAN. GOD. Then this happens:

IAN: Oh, and er, congratulations.
EX-ADMINISTRATOR: When you address one of the Elders you call him sir!

WELL LA-DI-DA.

Back in the salon, John has had his final treatment, and appears to be back to normal; he recognises Carol, who is Very Emosh, and actually it’s really touching. Carol introduces John to the Scientist who cured him, and John teaches him how to shake hands. Enter Team Where’s Barbara Already; the Doctor proclaims it a happy scene; I concur. John remembers Susan distinctly (OF COURSE!) and Ian and the Doctor introduce themselves; John wants to know where Barbara is. ME TOO, JOHN.

Susan asks John what he was trying to warn them about; John tells her there was a dangerous Sensorite about; the New Second Elder happens to be eavesdropping at the door and interrupts, asking whether said plotting Sensorite is in the room now. SUBTLE. John says no, but that there was something particular about his clothing, and the NSE interrupts again saying it must’ve been the Sensorite who has just died; Susan supposes it must indeed have been him. The NSE barks at Susan to tell the Doctor the First Elder wants to see him, and everyone remarks about how unfriendly he is once he’s gone and how he’s probably on a new power trip.

On the other side of the room the Doctor and Ian are being shown some of the earlier humans’ possessions; Ian is rather taken with the family snaps but the Doctor is more interested in some plans of the aqueduct. I smell a poison plot. Anyway, at this point Susan works out that it was the City Administrator who was their enemy and asks John whether the weird thing about the plotting Sensorite was his collar; John confirms this. Everyone feels a bit stupid. But hurrah for Susan working it out.

Back in the New Second Elder’s lair, he’s spring the Engineer from prison and wants him to remove the mechanisms from some hand rays. Intriguing.

Meanwhile, Ian and the Doctor are conferring over how useless it is to tell tales to the First Elder without proof, so they need to go back into the aqueduct. The Doctor asks what about Susan; Ian reckons this might be an ideal time to ask whether they can have Barbara back. YES. YES THIS IS THE TIME.

Anyway, the Space Bros tell the First Elder they reckon the water supply is being deliberately poisoned so they need to go and stop it. The First Elder agrees on condition that they go with light and weapons. Then this happens:

INDEED.

And FINALLY the Doctor asks whether they can have Barbara brought down like she’s a fucking hatbox but who cares, Barbara’s coming back; the Doctor actually claps his hands with glee; Ian leans back and grins; I punch the air.

The warrior brings weapons, and they’re the duff ones from earlier, as we learn when we get back to the New Second Elder. He also intercepts the Sensorite with the map of the aqueduct, claiming he will deliver it; he gets the Engineer to change some of the routes and then get it delivered. So now they’re going to be lost and defenceless.

Meanwhile, Ian and the Doctor are admiring their weapons. Then this happens:

WARRIOR: The range is considerable. The ray paralyses up to a distance of thirty yards.
DOCTOR: Yes, yes, splendid. And remember dear boy, that I will be standing nearly next to you! I have never liked weapons at any time, however they're handy little things.

All of this.

UGH but then one of my unfavourite things about this show happens and the Doctor decides to get the Sensorites to not tell Susan where they’re going because she’ll only tag along and he and Ian have decided it’s best for her not to go despite the fact that she’s got mad telepathic skills and has already been in the aqueduct dragging Ian about when he was ill:

DOCTOR: Yes, and that brings me to another problem, my Granddaughter Susan. She's bound to want to come with us.
IAN: I don't think she ought to Doctor.
DOCTOR: No. I agree with you my boy, we must go and not tell her, and avoid any arguments. I wonder sir, would you mind keeping a small secret until we're well and truly away?
FIRST-ELDER: Very well.

STOP DENYING YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER AGENCY YOU COLOSSAL BELLEND. Well I suppose the plot demands someone to pick up the shit when the inevitable happens and the Space Bros find themselves lost in a dark, watery maze with useless weapons.

Once the Space Bros have gone, the First Elder waxes lyrical about their bravery and is troubled by the idea that if they didn’t kill the Old Second Elder it must’ve been a Sensorite.

Back in the lab, Susan is laying the table, because of course. Carol really wants to get back to the Earth so she can have a thick, juicy steak; John tells her she’ll have to make do with a small, juicy fruit. CONTROL YOURSELVES. Anyway, Susan wonders what the others are up to; Carol expects they’re arranging for their return to the spaceship. Incorrect. And there’s a shot of the Space Bros entering the aqueduct to prove it. Carol goes to chivvy them along.

Alone with John, Susan tells him how great it is that he’s no longer crazy and squees over his plans to marry Carol; John says he expects they’ll both give up space travel when they get home and the she’s all he really cares about. Which is sweet. But probably spells doom for Carol.

AND SURE ENOUGH, CAROL IS WALKING THROUGH THE CITY WHEN A SENSORITE HAND CLAMPS OVER HER MOUTH AND SHE’S DRAGGED AWAY AND THAT’S REALLY DISTURBING.

HEAVENS ABOVE, WILL CAROL BE OK? WILL THE SPACE BROS SURVIVE THE AQUEDUCT? WILL SUSAN GET TO BE TELEPATHIC AND FABULOUS? AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, WHERE IS BARBARA?

Summary (as applicable to this episode)

Does it pass the Bechdel test? I think Susan and Carol just about scrape through.

Is the gaze problematic? Nope.

Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads'? No.

Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? No.

Does a woman wander off alone for the sole dramatic purpose of getting into trouble so she can be rescued later? Yup. Carol is kidnapped right after John says she's all he cares about.

Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? See above.

Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? No. But Susan and Ian have to go and rescue the Doctor. However, it looks like Carol will be in need of rescuing next week.

Is a woman placed under threat of actual bodily harm? Yup.

Is/are the woman companion's/s' first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? No.

Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? No.

Is a woman 'spared' the ordeal of having to do/witness something unpleasant by a man who makes a decision on her behalf/keeps her deliberately ignorant? YES. Stop that right now, Space Bros.

Does a man automatically disbelieve or belittle something a woman (companion) says happened to her? No.

Does a man talk over a woman or talk about a woman as though she isn't there? Not that I can recall.

Does the woman companion have to be calmed/comforted by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? No.

Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode's antagonist(s)? Carol.

Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? No.

Does the woman companion come up with a plan? No.

Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? No.

Does a woman come up with a theory and is it ridiculed by the Doctor/a man? No.

Does a woman call the Doctor out on his bullshit? No.

Does a woman get to be a badass? Not especially.

Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? The Doctor and Ian.

Is there past/future/alien sexism? Mostly culinary.

Does a 'present'-day character call anybody out on past/future/alien sexism? No.

Does an past/future/alien person have the hots for a woman companion and is it reciprocated? No.

Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.

Verdict

I love Carol and her Orwellian scepticism (she and Ian would get along famously) and am very cross indeed that she was relegated to Imperilled Love Interest at the end of the episode. Also it is infuriating that the Space Bros have decided Susan will worry her pretty little head too much if she knows they've wandered off into danger again so are keeping her in the dark. Susan has been so on-the-ball this entire serial but is continually undermined by the Doctor in particular, which has to stop. But at least we know that Barbara is coming back next week to (hopefully) put a stop to this nonsense. Hurrah!

Series 1 Episode 34: A Race Against Death

Serial: The Sensorites
Episode: 4 (A Race Against Death)
Doctor: William Hartnell
Companions: Barbara, Ian, and Susan

Writer: Peter R. Newman
Director: Mervyn Pinfield
Producer: Verity Lambert
Original Air Date: 18/07/1964

OOH MATRON (and other stories)

In which Ian is dying, the Doctor is a terrible scientist, Susan tries her hand at diplomacy and brow-mopping, and Classic Who does MONTAGE.

So Ian is dying of Space Cholera or whatever it is ails him and everyone is freaking out. Susan reckons it’s not a disease seeing as how a) the First Elder says it’s not contagious and b) they’ve done everything together since arriving on the Sense Sphere; the Doctor concurs; it takes them an embarrassingly long time to figure out it’s the water. The First Elder asks why everyone’s not dying if everyone’s drinking the water; the Doctor reckons it’s to do with varying levels of resistance.

Ian comes round, and Susan fusses over him a bit; the Doctor tells him to lie there and shut up oh and also it’s not a disease it’s probably poison. In which case, bring on the sodium chloride! Wait, Doctor, what do you want with salt? Oh hang on, I can probably guess. The First Elder is distraught; the Doctor tells him everyone has to drink the Crystal Water from now on (a small victory for socialism) and also he wants to work with the local scientists; the First Elder agrees.

Susan asks how long Ian’s got to live and doesn’t have time for the First Elder’s telepathic sympathy; the Doctor is delighted to discover he has as much as three days to save the Space Bro. Confidence is key. Furthermore, the Doctor asks whether he can have the Tardis lock back so he can cure Ian and the Sensorites; the First Elder goes off to confer with the Second Elder. At this point, the salt arrives, and yes, he is indeed fixing up an oldschool emetic by mixing it with water (Susan’s pretty on the ball about it) and making Ian drink it. Susan is adorkable and crosses her fingers for Science:

Having given his Space Bro some tough love, the Doctor leaves Susan to deal with her now-retching Science Teacher while he has a dramatic close-up aside to camera:

I know he’s genuinely concerned about Ian, but I get the feeling One’s top priority after Susan is his Tardis, and that will never change.

Elsewhere, the Second Elder reckons Ian might only be faking so the Doctor can get into his ship…AND RETURN WITH AN ARMY OF HUMANS IN A FLEET OF SHIPS. The first part isn’t beyond the realms of possibility, to be fair. The First Elder is troubled. I have to say, though, it’s nice that after the last non-xenophobic alien leader in a time of conflict we met (in the form of Temmosus the Thal leader on Skaro…or as I like to think of him, ‘Space Corbyn’) who turned out to be naïvely mistaken in his willingness to give the Daleks the benefit of the doubt, this time we’ve got one who turns out to be justified in his non-xenophobic ways.

Meanwhile, John is having his brain seen to by a Space Hairdresser. The City Administrator shows up and yells at the Scientist, saying it would be better to kill the human than to cure him. Enter the Second Elder, who is again disturbed at the CA’s questioning of authority (as opposed to his raging xenophobia). They argue a bit, and when the Second Elder mentions Ian is also in need of a cure, the CA has a rant about how the humans have stupid names and don’t wear any badges of authority so that they can’t be told apart; basically, he thinks they all look the same. Racist. When the SE tells the CA that Ian is dying, however, and that the Doctor thinks it’s to do with the water supply, the super-paranoid CA proclaims it an ‘evil, but undoubtedly brilliant’ scheme:

ADMINISTRATOR: To attack our confidence in one of the necessities! There is nothing wrong with the water supply, nothing at all. This is a trick to get us at their mercy!

I’m a little troubled by the fact that this serial can’t seem to make up its mind whether it’s a story about colonialism or a story about immigration. Though maybe the point of the conflicts arising from this serial is that it’s not clear-cut and that Othering and differences in communication are the main problems. The first humans and John clearly have colonial attitudes, seeing a planet as a resource to be exploited first and someone’s home second; however, the fact that the Sensorites are telepathic basically make this quite literally a Thought Crime (shamefully I’m only just starting to read Nineteen Eighty-Four but the book’s been around since 1949), and there’s no evidence any of the humans have actually acted on their materialistic instincts, despite the ambiguous tale of said humans quarrelling amongst themselves and leaving (to get reinforcements and a digger?) in a subsequently-exploding spaceship and the fact that the Sensorites are now dying of an apparently human disease. Some of the Sensorites are out-and-out xenophobes, some of them don’t trust a non-telepathic species whose thoughts they can only read at times when their ugliest impulses flash to the surface, some are reasonably cautious, and some of them are trusting to the point where, if the humans’ intentions were indeed malign, they would be guilty of being incautious at best and recklessly foolish at worst. And the CA isn’t a million miles from the truth when it comes to (SPOILER ALERT) the humans who, as we later learn, have been poisoning the water supply by way of waging a covert war against the Sensorites. I suppose if there is a moral to this story, it’s ‘don’t tar everyone with the same brush’.

Anyway, at this point, John decides to be super helpful and murmur ‘EEEEEEEEVIL’ in a disconcerting manner, which the CA takes as an admission of guilt. As the Second Elder goes off to warn the First Elder, John attempts to clarify his statement, specifying that ‘evil is here’; the CA gloats and tells John ‘your voice is not believed’. Which is frightening. The CA goes on to proclaim himself the enemy of all Earth creatures.

At this point, Carol enters, with another change of hairdo. Then this happens:

CAROL: Oh I am sorry, I thought you were one of the Scientists.
ADMINISTRATOR: You can see my collar of office! I am the city Administrator!
CAROL: Yes I'm sorry, but when your backs are turned it's very difficult to see. I don't know what we'd all do if you changed your badges and sashes. We wouldn't be able to tell you apart.
ADMINISTRATOR: I have never thought of that.

Racist.

Back in the reception room, the Doctor is yelling at the First Elder, which is particularly unpleasant for the latter because Sensorites don’t like loud noises. Do we know that, yet, by the way? It seems the Doctor can’t be doing with the First Elder umming and ahing over life-and-death decisions when ‘that young man’, by which he means his Space Bro, is ‘coughing his heart out’. Bless.

Enter the Second Elder, who proceeds to have a telepathic chat with the First Elder. Susan eavesdrops but can’t hear very clearly seeing as their mind’s aren’t open to her; the Doctor seems surprised and impressed that Susan can hear their voices.

Anyway, it seems the Second Elder has relayed his fears as to the Doctor’s motives. because the First Elder is now forbidding the Doctor access to the Tardis. The Doctor decides it’s time to up the smack talk and is actually quite intimidating in a ‘getting my coat tails out of the way so I can kick your ass’ sort of way:

The First Elder tells the Doctor he can prove his poison water theory in one of their own labs, at which point the Doctor positively howls ‘YOU FOOL’ at an ear-splitting pitch/volume, which makes the Sensorites clutch their heads in agony. And OH HURRAH FOR SUSAN who immediately starts mediating between the two parties; after telling the Doctor to pipe down because the Sensorites think he’s attacking them, she proceeds to be a model of diplomacy while the Doctor splutters with apoplectic rage in the background:

SUSAN: We're sorry, there's so much about your planet we don't understand.
DOCTOR: That's inhuman!
SUSAN: Grandfather!
DOCTOR: That's monstrous!
SUSAN: We didn't mean to use sound as a weapon. We didn't even know sound hurt you.
FIRST-ELDER: Very well; but please be careful in future. I wish to see regular reports on the progress of this theory.

It’s interesting that the Doctor uses the word ‘inhuman’ to describe the Sensorites’ behaviour; I know it’s probably not intentional, but the fact is that he’s Gallifreyan and in my head it’s not just the writers being lazy, it’s the Doctor beginning to align himself with human morality as espoused by Barbara and Ian. Also Susan is definitely the more mature of the pair: as the First Elder leaves, the Doctor shrieks ‘THEORY?!?!’ after him, making the Second Elder clutch his head in pain, and when he catches the look on her face as she performs…well, not a facepalm but certainly a face-backhand, he eventually drops the matter. Hurrah for Susan getting to show off her diplomatic skills.

But OH well, that was short-lived. Moving over to the bedside of the prostrate Ian, the Doctor instructs Susan to ‘act as nurse’ and keep an eye on his pulse. They are both terrible medics and mostly just touch his face a lot. For a horrible moment (thanks to a pause that was probably Billy forgetting his lines) I thought the Doctor was advising Susan to give Ian mouth-to-mouth if his breathing got feeble, but fortunately he’s just advising artificial respiration. So the Doctor goes off to play in the lab while Susan wastes her abilities mopping Ian’s brow. She’d be a lot more use liaising with the Elders and working on human-Sensorite diplomacy, but there we go; if Babs were in this episode to take on this ladyfunction, Susan would probably just be relegated to Second Nurse anyway.

Soft Kitty

#notadoctorofmedicine

Elsewhere, the City Administrator is moaning to the Engineer about how they can’t access the firing key on their death ray or whatever it is, when the Second Elder shows up to tell them the Doctor will be using the lab and to give him their cooperation. Second Elder out. The CA is raging and it all gets very Caliban:

ADMINISTRATOR: More weakness. These creatures are defeating us with smiles and gentle words; our leaders listen and agree. Soon we shall all be slaves.

Blimey.

Anyway, he’s got a plan based on Carol being a racist (I say that but tbh I can’t tell the Sensorites apart either because they’re all wearing the same mask and I can’t be bothered to try to distinguish them by their body shape). Looks like they’re going to switch their sashes up.

In the lab, the Doctor is telling the Scientists he thinks the water is laced with atropine. Which is apparently used in eye-drops, or so Wikipedia tells me. Also it’s in Deadly Nightshade. The Scientists point out that not everyone dies and the water only comes from one source, so the Doctor makes them test the water from each district.

There follows a tense and hilarious montage in which Susan dabs Ian’s head with a towel while the Doctor holds up test-tubes and looks at them intensely. Amongst other things. It’s supposed to be racking up the peril, but I’m mostly amused by the sheet of paper on which a Sensorite is writing ‘NEGATIVE’ next to a printed list of districts in a curly font. And Ian and Susan doing a rather disturbing horizontal fever dance.

What the fuck is happening?

And hurrah! The Doctor has found evidence of atropine in District 8 (which is…textiles?). And his Scientific methods are…unimpeachable?

SCIENTIST: But why were some of the districts negative?
DOCTOR: Because it varies from place to place, and when you made your tests you didn't discover it.

THAT’S NOT AN ANSWER, DOCTOR.

Anyway, the Second Elder reports to the First Elder on the Doctor’s progress and tells him that caffeine citrate is the antidote. Which is…lemon coffee? Coke with lemon? I dunno. It’s real and presumably it works. Susan gets to tell Ian he’s going to be ok and is waaaaaaaaaay too up in his grill for my liking.

Elsewhere, the Second Elder has wandered into a trap set by the City Administrator, who steals his sash (so everyone will think he’s the Second Elder…because Sensorites can’t tell one another apart either!?) and proceeds to go off on a paranoid rant about how Ian is faking and the cure is fake; he determines to stop the antidote because it’s really poison with which the Doctor plans to kill them all. Apparently the news that Sensorite scientists worked with the Doctor isn’t enough to stop the CA frothing at the mouth with paranoia. The Second Elder is detained (and so is his family…harsh).

Back in the salon, John is still getting his brain highlights done. A scientist walks in with a boiling flask (?) full of antidote which is to be sent to Susan to give to Ian; the Doctor recommends immediate mass-production. He tells Carol (also present) he’s now going off on an expedition ‘which isn’t dangerous, of course’ (HA!) with the First Scientist to see why the poison is only appearing in one reservoir at a time: ‘why cure something when we can stamp it out, hmm?’ Carol mentions that John thinks he’s surrounded by enemies; the Doctor thinks he might be more lucid than she imagines and asks her to keep a note of what he says; John babbles about plotting.

Out and about, the Engineer is asking the CA what happens if someone sees through his ‘disguise’ (A SASH); the CA points out that only people in positions of power are familiar with the appearance of the Elders whereas the ordinary people recognise them by their signs of office. Which seems fair enough, I suppose. To prove his point, the Scientist rocks up and greets him as the Second Elder. Success! The CA tells the Scientist he’ll take the antidote to Ian…lol. And OH how grim! It seems the CA has a scientific hypothesis of his own, which is more sound but far less ethical than the Doctor’s method:

ADMINISTRATOR: They say without the antidote the young man will die - I say he will live because he is pretending. (Smashes antidote.) This will prove it one way or the other.

Crikey cripes, Ian is DOOMED!

Ian is also doing lots of Brave Little Soldier Acting as Susan continues to be a bit too close. She’s getting antsy that the antidote hasn’t arrived yet, and though Ian manages to be winningly pathetic and croaks about how the Doctor must have ‘run into a snag’ and that ‘it’s not always possible to do these things at the snap of a finger’ (Moffaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttt!!), Susan’s off to find some more antidote anyway. It’s good someone’s got their wits about them.

Meanwhile, the Doctor is off in the water supply with the First Scientist, who notes that their attempts to light the place always end in failure. Which, as the Doctor points out, must be tricky for them seeing as they don’t like the dark; the First Scientist says they don’t get down here much; the Doctor reckons the neglect of the water system might have something to do with the poison. Because neglect is poisonous? Anyway, the First Scientist thinks they should go back because a) the Doctor won’t be able to see and b) there are monsters (or rather monster-like noises) in there. To the first objection, the Doctor counters his torch ownership (I do love that it keeps reappearing—it was there in An Unearthly Child, was a prop in The Edge of Destruction, Ian borrowed it for a tunnel in The Aztecs, and now it’s back again, like the sonic screwdriver only it’s a torch and it’s not sonic); to the second, the Doctor merely looks…sort of eager. Anyway, the Doctor says he’ll go on alone and seems rather intrigued that the two things the Sensorites fear most (noise and darkness) just happen to be lurking ahead:

Back at Ian’s bedside (and you can decide for yourselves whether this is a ‘poor William Russell has fuck-all to do this week and may as well be on holiday’ episode or a ‘jammy William Russell gets to nap through the whole thing’ episode), Susan has been injecting him with the antidote. He is bracing himself on Susan’s leg in a manner that would probably get you fired as a teacher nowadays and calls her ‘matron’; OOH MATRON. Still, good to know that Susan is competent at this sort of thing. Ooh and according to the info-text, William Russell’s relaxed part in this episode gave him time off rehearsals to film inserts for The Reign of Terror so that he, too, could go off on his hols. Well done, info-text. Also, Ian feels as though someone’s ‘given me a good going over with a hammer’. Blimey.

Anyway, Ian’s in for a good long stretch of bedrest….HAHA ONLY JOKING because now the First Scientist is back and is telling everyone the Doctor has gone off to the aqueduct alone and will probably be mauled by beastie or beasties unknown. ACTION STATIONS! Susan protests that Ian is too ill, but Ian’s having none of it, so off they trot to save the Doctor from the monsters. Which impresses the First Elder so much he has to call his mates and tell them about it.

Over in captivity, the real Second Elder can hear the First Elder calling him but can’t reply without his transmitter thingie. The City Administrator demands to know what’s being said and tells the Second Elder to think of his family group. How unpleasant. So obviously the Second Elder spills the beans, which excites the CA because nobody comes out alive so victory is clearly nigh.

In the aqueduct, the First Scientist provides Susan with a radio-electric light, and it makes a nice change to see Susan in charge and supporting Ian and telling him he doesn’t have to go any further if he doesn’t want to. Ian would obv rather eat live scorpions than admit he feels like crap, so off they go into the dark.

The Doctor, meanwhile, has found some belladonna/deadly nightshade in the pipes, which he examines through a magnifying glass…AS A BEASTIE OF UNKNOWN MAGNITUDE AND DEADLINESS BELLOWS IN THE DARK.

MERCY ME, WILL THE DOCTOR BE TORN ASUNDER BY WHAT I CAN ONLY ASSUME IS A SPACE BASILISK? WILL IAN AND SUSAN GET THERE IN TIME OR WILL THEY ALSO MEET WITH A STICKY END? IS THE MONSTER EVEN REAL? WHERE IS BARBARA AND WHAT WILL SHE DO IF ALL HER FRIENDS END UP AS THE BOGEYMAN’S LUNCH AND SHE’S FORCED EITHER TO STAY IN ORBIT AROUND THE SENSE SPHERE FOREVER OR TRY TO FORGE A NEW LIFE IN THE 28TH CENTURY? PLEASE CAN IAN AND SUSAN NEVER BE THIS HANDSY WITH ONE ANOTHER EVER AGAIN?

Summary (as applicable to this episode)

Does it pass the Bechdel test? Ermmm...actually there's a point. There's no Barbara this week, and I'm pretty sure Carol and Susan don't speak to one another. So I think possibly not.

Is the gaze problematic? Nope.

Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads'? No.

Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? No.

Does a woman wander off alone for the sole dramatic purpose of getting into trouble so she can be rescued later? Nope.

Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? No. Though Babs is essentially held hostage.

Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? No. But Susan and Ian have to go and rescue the Doctor.

Is a woman placed under threat of actual bodily harm? Ian's most under threat this week.

Is/are the woman companion's/s' first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? No.

Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? No.

Is a woman 'spared' the ordeal of having to do/witness something unpleasant by a man who makes a decision on her behalf/keeps her deliberately ignorant? No.

Does a man automatically disbelieve or belittle something a woman (companion) says happened to her? Not as such, but the Doctor is terrible at following Susan's advice on Sensorite diplomacy this week.

Does a man talk over a woman or talk about a woman as though she isn't there? Not that I can recall.

Does the woman companion have to be calmed/comforted by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? No.

Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode's antagonist(s)? It's mostly Ian and the Second Elder who are in for it this week. Also the Doctor gets growled at.

Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? Not exactly, but Ian seems to be determined to go off to rescue the Doctor (by which I mean determined not to let Susan go off rescuing her grandfather alone) despite having only recently recovered from a poisoning incident.

Does the woman companion come up with a plan? The Doctor has a plan as far as the atropine thing goes, but it's Susan's initiative that derails the CA's plan to let Ian die to check he's not faking it.

Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? Yes! Carol's thing about all the Sensorites looking the same without their sashes inspires the CA to come up with a Cunning Plan.

Does a woman come up with a theory and is it ridiculed by the Doctor/a man? No.

Does a woman call the Doctor out on his bullshit? Susan!

Does a woman get to be a badass? Yup! I'm sad that Susan is relegated from diplomat to nurse, but she does eventually show some viable nursing skills (injections etc.) that make me think she is actually suited to the job in some way.

Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? The Doctor is bossing everyone around this week. Though the CA is manipulating everything behind the scenes.

Is there past/future/alien sexism? Susan, you can be nurse...

Does a 'present'-day character call anybody out on past/future/alien sexism? No.

Does an past/future/alien person have the hots for a woman companion and is it reciprocated? No.

Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.

Verdict

Well obviously I'm very upset at the absence of Babs this week, but Susan does get some good stuff to do: she gets to be a pretty good diplomat (despite the fact that the Doctor doesn't really take her that seriously), and while I was initially hacked off that she got relegated to brow-mopping duty, she does eventually get to show some actual nursing skills and clearly knows how to inject humans with things without killing them. She also shows initiative when the antidote doesn't arrive and kicks ass off-screen somewhere to get some more rather than just waiting for Ian to die. The Doctor is a menace to himself and others this week, yelling the place down and skipping off into danger without backup, but it was at least fun to see him with his specs on frowning at test tubes. Ian was mostly horizontal this week, though it didn't stop him insisting on accompanying Susan on a rescue mission for which he was clearly unfit. Sigh. The CA, meanwhile, can't seem to decide whether he's Caliban or Trump. Bring back Babs to sort out this sorry mess.