Series 1 Episode 15: The Singing Sands

Serial: Marco Polo

Episode: 2 (The Singing Sands)

Doctor: William Hartnell

Companions: Barbara, Ian, and Susan

Writer: John Lucarotti

Director: Waris Hussein

Producer: Verity Lambert

Original Air Date: 29/02/1964 (ooh look it's a Leap Year!)

HOME IS WHERE THE HEARTS ARE (and other stories)

In which Susan's character gets some much-needed fleshing-out, a beautiful friendship is born, the Doctor spends the whole episode sulking, and Barbara and Ian try their hand at parenthood.

And we're right were we left off with Tegana’s evil, water-poisoning plan. It sounds pretty serious, and there's probably going to be a lot of stuff about water being really important dotted around this episode just to rack up the tension. But enough of that!

Marco is narrating his journal, in which he complains that ‘the old Doctor continually shows his disapproval of my action by being both difficult and bad-tempered’ and that he has ‘had to endure his insults’ for ‘three days now’. Somebody please write that missing scene.

Oh and sure enough, because water is about to become very important to the plot, we do indeed have a scene about how important water is when crossing the desert. Tegana observes that ‘[t]he bones of many men who thought they had enough [water] lie bleached in the desert sand’. Ok then. Also, everyone is in rather gorgeous new outfits. I think.

Water, water everywhere...

Susan is upset because the Doctor is still sulking and goes to take him his food. Marco asks Ian to play chess with him. Ian, despite it forming part of his surname, isn’t great at chess. Susan comes back in, even more upset, with the Doctor’s untouched plate. Tegana asks Barbara if she plays chess; she tells him ‘not very well’ and goes after Susan.

The polite face of fuckety-bye.

There’s some educational stuff about Checkmate coming from ‘Shahmat’, which means ‘the king is dead’. Ominous Tegana is ominous.

Outside the tent, Babs is comforting Susan, who is homesick for ‘another time, another galaxy’. Babs explains that the Doctor is sulking because his privilege counts for nothing here:

BARBARA: Well, you know him better than I do. But I'd have said he was just feeling defenceless. He has a wonderful machine, capable of all sorts of miracles, and it's taken away from him by a man he calls a primitive. Look, the Tardis is the only home we have at the moment, and when we're in it, we feel safe and secure. But when we're out of it...

Oh that’s beautiful. I also love that Babs recognises the true symbolic importance of the Tardis as a home. Then this happens:

SUSAN: One day, we'll know all the mysteries of the skies...and we'll stop our wandering...
BARBARA: Then you and I will say good-bye.
SUSAN: (Surprised.) Hm? Oh, not yet. Not for a long time!
BARBARA: Well, I think we should say goodnight anyway.

OH CLASSIC WHO AND YOUR GORGEOUS THEMATIC PREOCCUPATIONS. This whole scene between Barbara and Susan is just lovely, and underpins what has so far been the driving force behind this serial, which is that Team Tardis is made up of four very homesick people who are torn between the pull of their former lives and the quasi-familial ties they’re building in their wandering home-from-home. I also love how much time we’re getting to spend with Susan and how she is emerging actually as a very lonely, complex, and enigmatic character without being The Impossible Girl or something similarly obnoxious. She’s been a wanderer so long with just her grandfather for company and now he’s not speaking to her, but she’s got herself some parent-figures in the two humans, and she’s caught between a longing for her own time and place and her attachment to Barbara and Ian. One thing at least seems clear: Susan doesn’t like to say goodbye, and it kills me that we never really get to see why. COME ON, NEW WHO, GIVE US SOME SUSAN ALREADY.

Oh Susan what even is your face right now.

Meanwhile, back in the tent, Ian is having his ass kicked by Marco at chess. Susan goes to see Ping-Cho, and they wax lyrical about the desert; Susan is reminded of the metal seas of Venus. Which…aren’t a thing? Susan says she’s never seen a moonlit night, which I find hard to believe.

Ian is still shit at chess. Babs is feeling the allure of the desert. Marco tells Babs not to be deceived by its beauty because it’s ‘always dangerous’; Ian says ‘like my Queen’, which due to the lack of visuals I am going to assume is his way of referring to Babs and not his chess piece. Tegana asks Marco if he can save his king; Marco thinks he can. Subtle chess analogy is subtle.

Out in the desert, Susan and Ping-Cho are watching the moon rise, and Susan is confusing her new BFF with her sixties slang. They see Tegana looking shifty, so in the great Enid Blyton tradition of kids who see someone suspicious they decide to follow him.

Inside the tent, Marco tells Ian there’s a sandstorm coming and that he needs to go and tend to the horses. This can’t be good. And OH NO sure enough, outside, Susan and Ping-Cho are having trouble keeping up with Tegana when the sandstorm hits! There are some pretty trippy sound effects that sound a lot like that bit in The Wizard of Oz when the flying monkeys attack Dorothy in the Haunted Forest, so I’m just going to imagine Our Heroes being attacked by flying monkeys for my own amusement.

Back in the tent, Babs has been woken up by the godawful racket and has come running to find Ian with the raw instinct of a Von Trapp child in a thunderstorm. If Ian were to start singing about his favourite things right now, I would be so freaking happy, though I assume he’d be less about raindrops on roses and more about Science and Barbara. Marco has a Caliban moment and tells Barbara that the isle is full of noises ‘the singing sands’ can sometimes sound ‘like musical instruments being played’ or ‘a familiar voice calling your name’. Right now they sound like an air-raid siren in a threesome with a wolf and a hairdryer. Which, if this were indeed The Tempest, would be a fairly damning indictment of the state of my soul.

Anyway, they notice Tegana’s bed is empty, and Barbara goes to check on the girls…WHO ARE MISSING ARGH!

Henry! Henry! I can't find Dorothy!

Babs rushes back into the tent to tell the two men that Susan and Ping-Cho are missing, and from the sounds of it they pretty much have to wrestle her to the ground to stop her going out into the storm after them.

Restraining Cat strikes again.

I really wish we could see this scene, because it sounds like Babs is fighting tooth and nail to get to ‘the girls’, and I’m sure her face when she rounds on Marco Polo and tells him it’s all his fault for keeping them prisoner would be a sight to behold. Ian sides with Marco in an irritating display of logic versus instinct that reinforces a few gender stereotypes, and it’s interesting to note that whereas Babs will go in all guns blazing to save the kid, Ian will only do so for Babs. It’s all very Mama Bear.

Tonight the role of Barbara Wright will be played by Daniel Radcliffe

Out in the sandstorm, Susan thinks she can hear Ian calling her name. Which is weird. Then a man I’m going to assume is Tegana looms up over her. Screaming ensues. Back in the tent, it seems Ian is also getting pretty antsy about having to wait until the storm passes. Outside, we get confirmation that the Mystery Man is indeed Tegana.

When the storm passes, Barbara is still out of her mind with worry. Ian tells her to keep her voice down so the Doctor doesn’t wake up. WAIT HIS GRANDDAUGHTER WAS MISSING PRESUMED DEAD AND THEY DIDN’T WAKE HIM UP? Unacceptable.

BUT OH LOOK here are Susan and Ping-Cho being brought in by Tegana like Jane and Michael Banks. Barbara goes full Molly Weasley on Susan, and Marco is pretty furious, too. Ian is doing his teacher voice. I cannot get enough of Barbara and Ian being Susan’s space parents. With everyone’s safety established, we get another reminder that water is really important in the desert, which is why they can’t stay another night to get over the fright they’ve all had.

Beds empty! No note! Car gone!

There’s another excerpt from Marco’s diary in which he’s super grateful to Tegana for saving the girls. Nobody suspects Tegana.

Back in the tent, Susan is trying to get the sand out of her hair with Macbeth-style fervour. They think Tegana is up to no good. Though as they’re both young girls their opinions will count for zilch should they ever choose to voice them. Look at Babs and her footprints from last episode.

In the main tent, Tegana is polishing his sword, which is way more manly than writing in a journal. Tegana has a stab at Marco, literally, which Marco parries. Tegana goes off to ‘see to the horses’. Yeah right.

The pen is mightier than the sword. Ish.

Outside the water wagon, Tegana starts stabbing water gourds, spilling precious water, which we’ve established is important.

The next morning, Marco and Ian discover that all the water gourds except the ones they’ve been using are empty. They have just enough left to get back to Lop, but Marco doesn’t want to go back because this smacks of banditry and anyway there’s an oasis six days away. It’ll be a long, hard slog, but Ian says they should take the chance and everyone agrees with Ian. Because of reasons.

Marco’s journal takes over again, and everyone’s worse for wear. When the caravan stops, everyone is on water rations and not enjoying life. Tegana offers to go ahead to the oasis and fetch the water. He’s definitely not going to poison the oasis.

The Doctor has collapsed from heat exhaustion. Marco says they’ll fix the Doctor up a cot in the wagon. Babs calls bullshit on this idea and says he needs to rest in comfort, in the Tardis. Marco agrees, reluctantly, and Susan is allowed to go with him.

Ian takes Marco to one side and says the Doctor won’t last 24 hours without water. Marco says that none of them will – their fate rest with Tegana. Well, they’re clearly doomed.

At the oasis, Tegana is drinking greedily. He fills a water gourd and holds it aloft. ‘Here’s water, Marco Polo,’ he bellows. ‘Come for it!’

BLESS US AND SPLASH US, PRECIOUS, THEY’LL ALL DIE OF THIRST FOR SURE! WILL THEY GET TO THE OASIS BEFORE TEGANA POISONS IT? WILL THE DOCTOR STOP SULKING AND SWOONING LONG ENOUGH TO PARTICIPATE MORE FULLY IN THE NEXT EPISODE? WILL SUSAN EVER FIND A HOME AND MEANINGFUL, PERMANENT COMPANIONSHIP? WILL IAN GET ANY BETTER AT CHESS? WILL BARBARA EVER HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO SIT IAN DOWN AND TELL HIM SHE CAN’T ALWAYS BE BAD COP IN THIS PARENT-LIKE SETUP WITH SUSAN? IS MARCO POLO IN FOR A BARBARA WRIGHT BOLLOCKING OR HAS OUR RESIDENT BAMF ALREADY COWED HIM WITH HER MOLLY WEASLEY RAGE?

Summary (as applicable to this episode)

Does it pass the Bechdel test? Beautifully.

Is the gaze problematic? As far as one can tell from the telesnaps, no.

Is/are the woman companion(s) dressed 'for the Dads'? No.

Does a woman fall over/twist her ankle (whilst running from peril)? Not that I can tell.

Is/are the woman companion(s) captured? Well they're all prisoners.

Does the Doctor/a man companion/any other man have to rescue the woman companion(s) from peril? Yeah, Tegana has to rescue 'the girls' from the sandstorm. Not for Barbara's lack of trying.

Is/are the woman companion's/s' first/only reaction(s) to peril gratuitous screaming? Susan screams at Tegana's shadow, but she's in the middle of a sandstorm so we'll give her that..

Does a woman companion go into hysterics over something reasonably minor? Nope.

Is a woman 'spared' the ordeal of having to do/witness something unpleasant by a man who makes a decision on her behalf/keeps her deliberately ignorant? I'd say Ian taking Marco aside to talk about the 24-hour dying-of-thirst situation counts..

Does a man automatically disbelieve or belittle something a woman (companion) says happened to her? No.

Does a man talk over a woman or talk about a woman as though she isn't there? Not that I recall.

Does the woman companion have to be calmed/comforted by the Doctor/a man companion/a man? It takes the combined strengths of Ian Chesterton and Marco Polo to stop Barbara running out into a sandstorm to save Susan and Ping-Cho. 

Is a woman the first/only person to be (most gratuitously) menaced by the episode's antagonist(s)? It's the youngest women most gravely imperilled by the sandstorm, but Tegana's the one who saves them. And he's out for everyone and mostly Marco.

Is a man shamed into doing/not doing something because the alternative is a woman doing/not doing something? No.

Does the woman companion come up with a plan? No.

Does the woman companion do something stupid/banal/weird which inspires a man to be a Man with a Plan? Nope.

Does a woman come up with a theory and is it ridiculed by the Doctor/a man? No.

Does a woman call the Doctor out on his bullshit? The Doctor is mostly AWOL this episode but Babs calls Marco out on similar nonsense.

Does a woman get to be a badass? Babs is prevented from sandstorm-related badassery.

Is the young, strong, straight, white male lead the person most often in control of the situation? Yes.

Is there past/future/alien sexism? Not especially.

Does a 'present'-day character call anybody out on past/future/alien sexism? No.

Did a woman write/direct/produce this episode? No/No/Yes.

Verdict

Beautiful, beautiful character stuff, mostly for Susan, which is very-much needed and one of the main reasons so far I can think of why people should power through the telesnaps and experience this serial in some way. As I've said, we really gain a sense of her conflicting sense of home, her profound loneliness, and her fear of having to say goodbye to people she loves. More of this, please, and more of her blossoming friendship with Ping-Cho. Lovely stuff from Barbara, too, especially in conversation with Susan. It's fun to see Barbara and Ian becoming Susan's space parents while the Doctor is AWOL sulking, though they'll need to sort out their good cop bad cop routine if it's ever going to work. I love that Babs is fearless enough to want to brave a sandstorm to go and rescue Susan and Ping-Cho, but it's annoying that Ian is presented as concerned-but-rational as a counterpoint to her Mama Bear antics. I adore the growing realisation that the Tardis is home and the way that complicates the relationships within Team Tardis. Though I do feel a bit bad for Ian, as he hasn't really had any character development yet even though he gets a lot of the action, and is much the way he was when he first set foot aboard the Tardis. When will he get to change and grow beyond the action man role? Feminism demands that he be released from the straitjacket of masculinity.